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The 11 A-holes You Meet in Renderings

120 North 6th Street

120 North 6th Street

Whenever we ogle the renderings of future buildings slated for construction, our eye is drawn to the aspirational humans within. They’re always pretty good for a laugh, and an idea of what the developers are after, despite their lip service to affordable housing and community spaces.

Where are the teens of color hanging out, street vendors selling fruit or tamales, Chinese seniors doing tai chi? Maybe architecture firms should take a cue from Barbie and diversify their paper dolls? Here’s a roundup of some of the “types” we’ve glimpsed traipsing through the future versions of North Brooklyn and the Lower East Side. Welcome your new neighbors!

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Aviv Closing in October; W’Burg Rent Could Drop By $450

Music venue Aviv will close its current location in October, less than two years after arriving in Greenpoint. [Brooklyn Vegan]

In Bushwick, paperwork was submitted to covert the warehouse at 314 Scholes Street into an office building with a ground floor and rooftop retail component. [The Real Deal]

A new brewery called Interboro Spirits & Ales will debut next month at 942 Grand Street in Williamsburg. [Grub Street] Keep Reading »

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All the Art Shows You Best Not Miss

(Image via Booklyn)

(Image via Booklyn)

Up Against The Wall
Opening Tuesday August 30, 7 pm to 10 pm at Booklyn. On view through September 27. 

Greenpoint “artist and bookmakers organization” Booklyn, which has impressively been hanging around since 1999, presents this exhibition of prints by two projects: Imagining Apartheid, a Montreal-based initiative bringing awareness to Palestinian liberation and the BDS movement with a focus on Israeli Apartheid, and Celebrate People’s History: Iraq Veterans Against the War, a portfolio project which aims to highlight veteran and active duty members who were against the war and have spoken out over the last ten years. Placed side-by-side, these prints and posters highlight years of a common struggle and fight for demilitarization and justice regardless of country or nationality.

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Puppy Stolen From Laundromat; $1K-a-Month Treehouse ‘For Rent’

A 20-year-old house cleaner was arrested Tuesday after allegedly sneaking into a client’s residence on July 25 to bound, blindfold and rape her. [NY Daily News]

On Monday afternoon, a cockalier spaniel puppy named Pippen was stolen from his owner’s Knickerbocker Avenue laundromat. The incident was captured on video. [Pix 11]

Police say a cyclist in Williamsburg verbally abused a driver before hitting him in the face and helping herself to his sunglasses last Friday. [DNA Info]

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Week in Music: Exile on Girl Street and One Righteously Bubbly Bubu Crew

(Image via Sunnyvale/ Facebook)

(Image via Sunnyvale/ Facebook)

OMG You’re a Girl Drummer?!
w/ Milk Dick, Desert Sharks, Prima, Fraidycat, Rizzos
Saturday August 27, 8 pm at Sunnyvale: $8
“Girl bands.” You know the term. In fact, you’ve probably even used it a few times– I know I have. It’s easy to do, and sometimes difficult to avoid, even for people who identify as feminists. But we should really stop saying it. All of us.

It happens because the image of an “ideal” rock n’ roll band has been hammered into us from day one, starting  at the moment your crazy, mustachioed Uncle Frank threw on Exile on Main Street and started whirling his tubby hips around and around, sloshing beer onto your thin, porous baby skull for the first time (whether it dripped down your tufts of hair or just sat there on top determined how the rest of your life plays out– slumped over in a dark dive bar or squatting on an exercise-ball, bushy-tailed and bright-eyed at Generic Tech Startup X).

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Performance Picks: Western Wildness, 2-Year Anniversaries, Bits N’ Buddy Holly

WEDNESDAY

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Wednesday With Westerns!
Wednesday August 24, 7 pm at City Reliquary; $7.
The City Reliquary, a tiny, quirky wonderland of a museum, will be the location for this western art party this evening. Gallop amongst NYC memorabilia, but don’t get too distracted, as there will be plenty to do on the frontier. Selections include the chance to get your own Wanted poster painted by artist Omer Gal, experimental Japanese movement genre butoh done with a Texas twist, line dancing, a hog-tying contest, theatrical happenings, ghostly songs, wandering Western characters, and surely much else. If you have the gall to come in a Western-themed costume (god forbid nobody mistake you for a lost Republican on the way there), you’ll be greeted with a free shot of tequila or whiskey. As the cow/boy creature on the poster proclaims so proudly, “Be a REAL cowboy like me!” Darn tootin’.

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Offices Replaces Brewery; Party to Save The Muse

A female cyclist claims she was physically assaulted by an Uber driver at a busy intersection on August 4, but the police officers who witnessed the encounter failed to act. [Gothamist]

Residents of Greenpoint want the Department of Health to follow up their spring study of Newtown Creek with more in-depth water safety analysis. [DNA Info]

In Williamsburg, an investment firm purchased 315 Seigel Street—a 51-unit apartment building previously owned by the late landlord Menachem Stark—for $39.5 million. [The Real Deal]

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Vomitous Volcanoes, an Auction That Doesn’t Suck, and More Art Haps

(Flyer via Living Gallery / Facebook)

(Flyer via Living Gallery / Facebook)

Consumption
Opening Monday August 22, 6 pm to 9 pm at The Living Gallery. On view one night only. 

For one night only, the humble Living Gallery will be taken over by artist and “earth-loving dumpster-diver” Jill Rosati’s fantastical sculptures. Among them are “vomcanoes,” vaguely grotesque creations that look as if a mound of dirt grew legs and eternally spewed a fine stream of luminescent sludge that may or may not contain human hair. Yum! Rosati is committed to showing the ugly and excess-filled side of human nature (and sometimes, just nature itself), but smartly does so using sustainable and recycled materials so she doesn’t necessarily waste in order to portray waste.

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Palace Cafe Is Closing After 83 Years; Bushwick’s Got Talent

The 52-year-old man who allegedly raped a 27-year-old Bushwick woman last week was arrested after he called the police later that day to request a ride. [NY Daily News]

A man took a cab from Bushwick to Williamsburg on August 11 and then stole $150 from the driver. [DNA Info]

Greenpoint bar Palace Cafe will shutter on September 3 after 83 years in business. [Gothamist]

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Week in Comedy: Summertime Stories and Imaginary Films

THURSDAY

(Photo: Summer Fling)

(Flyer via Summer Fling)

Summer Fling
Thursday August 25, 9 pm at Union Hall: $10

Hosted by Lacey Jeka and Kristen Buckels (Between Two Bushes), this show is stacked. I mean seriously, you’re telling me that you’ve got Aparna Nancherla and Jo Firestone– who by the way also host some great shows together— and Brett Davis, the cult-obsessed audience antagonizer, plus a great young man named Gary Richardson, all on the same bill?

Also, the show is only $10? And it’s on a Thursday and at a reasonable hour? Wait, there’s a flyer for it? Uh, yes please. Like, on all accounts. This show might only last one night, but, oh man, what a summer fling it will be.

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Naked Trump Statue in Union Square; New Food Fest/Fundraiser Taste of EV

(Photo: Nicole Disser)

(Photo: Nicole Disser)

For two hours yesterday, a statue of naked Donald Trump stood in Union Square. The anarchist collective INDECLINE commissioned, “The Emperor Has No Balls,” which included this work plus similar statues in San Francisco, Cleveland, LA and Seattle. [Washington Post]

Developer Aby Rosen erected a “Vote Your Conscience” billboard at his 337 Lafayette Street property. [The Real Deal]

The Heyward, a Wythe Avenue restaurant that replaced Zebulon in 2014, recently shuttered. [Eater NY]

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New, Upscale ‘Industrial Arts Complex’ for Bushwick Artists in Search of ‘Dynamic’ Spaces

(Rendering courtesy of Mann Group)

(Rendering courtesy of Mann Group)

We’ve known about the impending “injection of luxury” slated for Bushwick– the three- and four-story types have been popping up for a while now, and emerging residential plans are starting to look more and more like the glassy condominium buildings and fancy new high-rises of the Williamsburg waterfront and Lower East Side. The neighborhood got its very first boutique hotel earlier this year and continues to see the development of fancy-dorm-like compounds, Colony 1209 for one. Hell, Bushwick’s even getting its very own “European Village” (although not everyone’s ready to welcome the newcomers’ plans to “interrupt” the current order).

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