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It’s getting to that point in the summer where doing much of anything besides moving that lawn chair to the kiddie pool and cracking open your daily 40 seems interminably arduous. For hell’s sake, you’ve been wearing the same sweaty tank top, bucket hat, and cut-offs ensemble for, like, weeks now, dude. Pull yourself together and get to some of these combination music-food-shopping-booze-drink affairs. You’ll realize economy of movement as well as restoration of dignity.

Greenpointers Summer Market
Sunday, 1pm to 7 pm at Greenpoint Loft, 61-67 West St.; free (RSVP). 
Not only did Greenpoint’s local blog admirably weather a transition period last fall, but their local events keep on growing. At our favorite seasonal market, more than 50 local vendors– slanging stuff like small-batch spices, cat art, and a mad selection of natural body and beauty products– are going to cram inside a really rather nice space at an old warehouse on West Street. Besides stuff vendors, plenty of local food-stuff vendors will be selling stuff like mini-Dutch pancakes (poffees), Phumplings (pho-philled dumplings), and sweet and savory pies (from Pie Corps). You can shop and munch to tunes by indie pop duo Laura & Greg, whose video we premiered recently.

Greenpoint Beer & Ale (located at Dirck the Norseman) have brewed up a couple of special beers for the market, but tbh we’re drooling even more over the promise of watermelon soju cocktails. As for other ways to chill out, consider getting a massage and/or participating in rooftop yoga. Oh! And if you’ve been boycotting your usual means of obtaining nails on fleek in light of recent disturbing news regarding nail slaves, rest assured that Peenk might be doing dope nail designs for free, but she sure as hell wasn’t trafficked into doing so.

tumblr_nq07foIFrF1s1xv3no1_1280Greatest Day Ever
July 18, 1pm to 10pm at 50 Kent; $50 for one ticket, $40 if you buy 10. 
If you’re totally not like me and every time you’ve sat down for brunch you’re all, “Why am I sitting right now when I could be dancing?!” then you can count on this event at least being A Pretty Good Day. The aptly named Brunch Bounce organizers behind The Greatest Day Ever are super good at tooting horns and as such adept at amassing a ton of people (they claim more than 7,000 people attended one of their 2014 shows). Their latest endeavor promises vaguely that “some of NYC’s most popular food trucks” will be on site and lists a few goofy sounding DJs like Trippy Turtle (then again, he has more followers on SoundCloud than most bands we like). Travis Scott is a rising hip-hop star, so the music will actually be quite on point for dancing. But still, we were considering clicking away before we came across this video. Which, to say the least, changed everything. 

The food pickins could very well be served by the $30 hot dog man, but as long as there’s promise of twerking, mechanical bulls, and circus games, we’ll eat questionable kosher products and elephant ears all damn day.

image1Surrealist Dinner Party
July 18, 8pm to 12am at Secret Project Robot: $10 meal included
If massive events wherein partygoers throb together as one horrible oozing drunk monster are not exactly your thing (hey, to each her own) then maybe think about checking out the latest in Secret Project Robot’s 10th anniversary Summer of Thunder series of happenings. The DIY venue personally assured us this one’s going to be a “really cool event” and guess what? It’s also happening outdoors, so you’re sacrificing absolutely nothing to hang with the cool kids.

The event is described as one where “art as food” will be served alongside music by the likes of Barry London, Christy & Emily (chill lady psych duo), High Life (dreamy, dreary meditations/ hallucinations), and Samara Lubelski (soothsaying psych pop). For just $10, you’ll be able to feast on things like a “melted clock pizza” and “meat and fish bouquets,” all stuff drawn from Salvador Dali’s surrealist cookbook, Les Diners de GalaFingers crossed that special avocado toast of his will also be on the menu. I mean can you imagine how delicious mashed avocados, almonds, and lamb brains must be?!