(Photo courtesy of The Diamond.)

(Photo courtesy of The Diamond.)

A priest and a hipster walk into a bar… and go to confession?

It’s no joke (okay, maybe a little bit of a joke?): Greenpoint bar The Diamond is turning the decommissioned ski gondola that’s in its back patio into a confessional, complete with legit pastor. “Is the weight of your own foolishness heavy upon your spirit?” the bar asks in an announcement. “Did you vote for the wrong candidate, and now regret it?”

20161220_150734If that’s the case, sorry, this gondola is not a time machine. But for all forgivable peccadilloes, Amy Kienzle, a Lutheran pastor at Greenpoint’s Park Church Co-op, will be on duty this New Year’s Eve. Just don’t expect a traditional Catholic-style “Forgive me, Father” situation– according to her bio, Pastor Kienzle has a “love/hate relationship with traditional churchy stuff,” and Sunday worship at her church involves “using the arts as a way to discover our inner monk.” The church also offers “Dancorcism” and sonic meditation sessions led by a DJ who is “trained in sound healing.” Oh, Greenpoint. Don’t ever change.

In the announcement, Kienzle says the gondola will be “a safe space to unburden oneself, and thereby start on the path to acceptance and healing.” All confessions are strictly confidential, even if you confess that you once drunkenly walked out of the Diamond with their shuffleboard puck. Pastor Kienzle will be on-hand from 9pm to midnight, leaving plenty of time for those who need to confess on the early side and then get forgiven all over again after doing something unholy in the bar’s bathroom.