During our epic taste-test of Phrosties, one of our guinea pigs told the world to “try this psycho juice while it’s still ‘legal.'” How prescient! The Post now reports that the State Liquor Authority is investigating the 24/7 delivery sloshies, and even Senator Chuck Schumer — yup, the guy who helped put the kibosh on the old Four Loko — is out to ruin the phun.
But thank heaven for 7-Eleven! The East Village’s most beloved chain has come along with these new Slurpee containers resembling mason jars and straws that double as mixologist mustaches!! They’re now available in select markets, and we’ve confirmed that the 7-Eleven on the Bowery is among those selling the plastic jars for $2.99 and the straws for about a buck. (In addition to the Ron Swanson-esque stache above, there’s a Hulk Hogan-esque handlebar variety. The straws are kind of hidden away at the counter rather than at the Slurpee station, so you can feel smugly superior and in-the-know when you buy one.)
We’re not telling you to spike a piña colada Slurpee with grain alcohol and suck it down until a mustachioed mason jar seems like the funniest thing ever. But it’s there if you want it.