The author of “The Five Guys You Will Fuck at NYU” insists her list is “unfortunate but true.” [NYU Local]

Meet the woman who keeps dozens of turtles in her Williamsburg apartment. [Brooklyn Eagle]

Verizon’s “Can You Hear Me Now” guy, Paul Marcarelli, has put his Williamsburg pad up for $1.65 million. [LLNYC]

The city is getting more protected bike lanes, medians, and other safety measures as part of Vision Zero. [DNAinfo]

You can now rent space in a historic Greenpoint church. Mickey Rourke checked the place out when it was going for over $7 million. [Brooklyn Eagle]

A 16-year-old Greenpoint high schooler was arrested after allegedly raping and choking his girlfriend at her East Williamsburg home. [DNAinfo]

The 14th Street location of Mimi’s Hummus has closed. [EV Grieve]

Should government start treating arts organizations and DIY venues with a little more respect? [Observer]