We’ve seen our share of parody videos in which bearded Brooklynites peddle “artisanal” absurdity: remember “refined, artisanal” Bushwick Spam? David Cross’s Greenpoint-based artisanal cardboard box company? Oh, and just last week there was “bespoke” water. But we still had to laugh at the Bindle Bros., a Mast Brothers-esque duo who claim to make “artisanal bindle sticks.”
“When we were younger we really wanted to be poor,” Josiah Bindle claims in the faux profile video above.
“But not modern-day poor,” his brother Dusty Bindle clarifies. “Old-timey poor, like when things were simple.”
So they started making “locally sourced” hobo sticks out of used bandanas and “naturally fallen branches.”
“We source our bindles from the parks and streets of Brooklyn because city wood is tougher than sticks from the sticks,” Josiah says in the promo video below. “Besides, it’s smarter and more artistic.”
As for the bandanas: “All bandanas are used and have a story to tell if you’ll listen.”
The profile video shows the Bindle Bros. peddling their wares — with varying success — around Williamsburg.
Unlike other hipster satirists, these guys have gone to the trouble of putting up a handsome, patriotic website complete with a FAQ video and a store that offers the “Teddy Roosevelt” model (“Be presidential. Speak softly and carry a big stick”) for a mere $350. Put one in your shopping cart and you’ll actually be asked for a credit card number.
But before you get too outraged, the website’s “Board of Directors” section offers a clue that it’s all a ruse: comedians Ben Kronberg and Matt Klinman, who are respectively listed as assistants to Josiah and Dusty, actually play them in the video, which was directed by Kemp Baldwin.
That’s not to say artisanal bindle sticks couldn’t take off. “Life’s an adventure, you gotta have a bindle to put your memories in.”