This New Bushwick Bar Is The Most Literal Boobie Trap We’ve Ever Seen

Much like beloved Pumps, the vast majority of boobs at Bushwick’s newest bar are synthetic– but that’s about the only quality these establishments share. Boobie Trap is actually a respectable joint that very likely won’t make you feel creepy and exploitative after spending five minutes inside. In fact, with its cheap beer and reasonably priced food, you might end up staying for a while.

True to its namesake, Boobie Trap is filled with PG nip slips: rubber boob blobs, a topless (and limbless) mannequin, even some ’70s pinup girls. Take a potty break, and after inevitably sighing from a deep sense of satisfaction and looking up to the heavens with gratitude, you’ll be brought right back down to earth by the boundless teets dangling from the ceiling.

Kristen North, previously a bartender at establishments like the Knitting Factory and Iggy’s, co-owns the place along with her friends Francisco Bacon (the chef) and fellow veteran drink slinger Paul King. She made the move from Chinatown to Bushwick — right next-door to Boobie — as soon as she signed the lease a year ago. And her presence is splattered all over the walls: “This place is like the inside of my brain,” she says of the decor.

The kitschy B-Movie vibe is closer in spirit to Manhattan’s Bleecker Street than it is to Bushwick’s: the place is filled with weird knick-knacks, board games, and campy details like vintage Playboy cover menus.

But it also has a welcoming, lived-in vibe, thanks to little details like a phone charger station, an easily accessible water jug, and plenty of hooks. “It’s from years of bar-tending and going out all the time,” Kristen said. “I guess it pays to be a party girl.” Kirsten revealed she even keeps a stash of hair ties behind the bar to address any unfortunate case of the vomits. “We’ve all been there,” she said.

Aside from the decor, Boobie Trap aims to keep it simple. Their website proudly proclaims: “No mojitos, jerk.” The bar has a good selection of bottles and cans and some beers on tap, but nothing much crazier than Pacifico.

“Everything’s so complicated these days with mixology, and there are so many craft beers,” said Kristen, who seems to have it out for people who order frou-frou cocktails. “It’s like, ‘Go into the bathroom and pull your tampon out before you order a drink,'” she laughed.

Boobie Trap’s menu of BBQ offerings is served late for the meat-loving crowd. The rest of us can still try our hand at the homemade Blueberry BBQ sauce (rejoice vegetarians, there is a seitan selection along with plenty of cheap, meatless sides).

We’re looking forward to losing a great deal of our short-term mammary here in the near future.

Boobie Trap, 308 Bleecker St., nr. Irving Ave., Bushwick; 347-240-9105