unnamed

Get ready for some not-so-stiff competition.

The Smallest Penis in Brooklyn contest that went, er, viral last year is BACK and bigger than ever. Okay, not bigger at all.

“It’s time to celebrate less-endowed men with extraordinary heart, talent, and chutzpa,” reads a, um, release from Kings County Bar that’s sprinkled with limp puns:

Don’t miss the action this year as the 2013 runner-up, Mr. Rip Van Dinkle, returns to try to claim the wee crown and scepter.

Our expert judges will take every little thing into account, including the contestants’ poise in both evening wear and bathing wear, talent, personality, and how well they represent the ideal of a man with a small dong. This day is about celebrating the fun-sized guys. Well-hung men shouldn’t even think about crashing, they will be ejected from the pageant and humiliated!

Anyone who is interested in becoming a contestant, or who would like to be a judge (little experience required), please send email to SPB.Brooklyn@gmail.com

Admission to the event, June 14 at 2 p.m., is $5 and VIP seating gets you “micro-bottle service and personal attention from a penis kitten” (whatever that means). The winner gets a cash prize and a call from his mom asking him what the hell he was thinking.