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Off-Duty Cop Allegedly Assaults J Train Conductor, Rush-Hour Nightmare Ensues

The J train during happier times. (Photo: Everett Bogue/ New York magazine)

The J train during happier times. (Photo: Everett Bogue/ New York magazine)

Thousands of people riding the J train at rush hour this morning experienced a total and complete shitstorm after an off-duty police officer allegedly assaulted a conductor while the train was pulling out of Essex Street station. According to the MTA, the conductor pulled the emergency break and brought the train to a standstill, all but one of the cars were stuck outside the station at 9:15 am– prime getting-to-work time for many riders. The J line ceased service for a full hour, leaving platforms packed with unhappy commuters.

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The People Have Spoken: ‘Small Hands’ and Trump Visits Union Square, Sans Balls

Oh Trump! The presidential hopeful continues to be a never-ending repository of hilarity, amazement, disgust, and abject terror. His bravado, swagger, and blatant disregard for those pesky things called facts have attracted millions of voters, but have repelled many others. We’ve seen more than enough of that doughy orange face and wispy hair to last most of us a lifetime, but a group called Indecline– what most outlets are reporting as an “anarchist collective” but don’t seem to embody those ideals at all– decided to take it one step further yesterday when the installed a naked Donald Trump statue at Union Square.

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Gaggles of Heartsick Fans Will Descend on the LES Searching for The 1975 Tomorrow

Ilwys_coverIf you’re in the Lower East Side tomorrow don’t be surprised if you come across roaming packs of rabid fans suffering from raging crushes. Twitter tells us that British emo rock-pop sensation The 1975 is staging a pop-up gallery somewhere in the nabe to inaugurate their new album, artfully titled I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it. They’ll present the album’s artwork and music, as well as a few “surprises.”

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Has Shaggy From the Scooby Gang Moved to Williamsburg?

(Photo: DC Comics)

(Photo: DC Comics)

Today, DC Comics announced it would be giving beloved Hanna-Barbera characters a fresh makeover and modernizing classic characters such as the Flintstones, Johnny Quest, and, of course, the hardy Scooby gang. Apparently, this also means turning mellow icon and Scooby-BFF Shaggy into a full-blown hipster, complete with sleeve tattoos, a trendy messenger bag, and a handlebar moustache proud enough to make any artisanal vegan-latte pop-up owner cry with envy.

When the gang’s new look hit the Internet, the Twittersphere seemed certain that Shaggy had taken up residence in Brooklyn.
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That L Train Might Be Awhile…

(Photo: Marcin Wichary/Flickr, via New York magazine)

(Photo: Marcin Wichary/Flickr, via New York magazine)

We’re still trying to wrap our brains around news that the L train’s future is in jeopardy. According to officials, the North Brooklyn lifeline is still suffering from the legacy of Hurricane Sandy and in desperate need of a serious upgrade that would increase daily rider capacity (and relieve commuters of the indignity of  having to smell another human stranger’s armpits). More →

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That Notorious Pillar at Market Hotel Has Its Own Twitter

DIY venue the Market Hotel is back, as of December 16 (Photo via Market Hotel / Facebook)

DIY venue the Market Hotel is back, as of December 16 – this is back pillar, currently not on Twitter (Photo via Market Hotel / Facebook)

The internet never ceases to amaze us. And after failing to remember who or what broke the internet last, we decided it doesn’t matter at all because it’s been shattered into a million pieces once again. And it was the birth of the Market Hotel Pillar Twitter account (@MarketPillar) — which happened sometime after the DIY venue reopened for what was, by all accounts, a spectacular Sleater-Kinney show — that signaled the internet’s passing.

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Musings on Changing Neighborhoods and Star Wars

(Photo: Nicole Disser)

(Photo: Nicole Disser)

Hey– it’s our occasional effort to wrangle in a sampling of interesting nabe-centric tweets we’ve heard ’round town as of late!

First up, we’ve got, per usual, some comments on neighborhoods in transition. Man, they just grow up so damn fast these days, don’t they? And perhaps we should really embrace this “West-Bushwick” thing with gusto– definitely sounds like it could end up being the new Quooklyn.

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Peels Has Closed, and Its Ketchup Will Be Missed

Danny Kim

Photo: Danny Kim

Some loved their biscuits, others hated their unholy wait times but many took to Twitter upon discovering that Peels has unceremoniously closed. For starters, Claire Lobenfeld (@clairevlo) tweeted, “You served the only ketchup that didn’t trigger my mortuusequusphobia” (yes, there’s a word for fear of ketchup). We’ve gone ahead and rounded up some of the most extreme reactions to the loss of this Bowery brunch spot.
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