We’ve already told you about the boom box parade and the naughty Nutcracker, but it gets even weirder than that. Here’s why NYC might just be the most extra city in the country when it comes to the holiday season.
1. People Fight Over Having the World’s Biggest Menorah
No, this isn’t a dirty metaphor. For years the Manhattan and Brooklyn Grand Army Plazas host people competing in the World’s Largest Hanukkah Menorah competition, which, apparently is a thing. The things are so big, cranes have to be used to light the candles. Go big or go home, right?
2. There are Tuba Christmas Declarations of Tuba-ness
What’s more Christmasy than a bunch of tubas coming together to celebrate the holiday. On Dec. 9 hundreds of brass players will gather around the Rockefeller Center ice rink. This isn’t something new. Oh, no. It’s been going on for 45 years. It’s a baby boomer!
3. Legos Build Religious Symbols
Sure, you can make menorahs really huge and make a competition of it. Or you can build a menorah with a bunch of Legos and light it on fire (without melting the actual legos — an insane concept). If you plan to visit its Brooklyn location, watch where you step.
4. SantaCon Is Everyone’s Favorite Thing to Hate
The level of hatred for this and also the level of admiration for this is extra. Very extra. Depending how you feel about it, these are the East Village bars to avoid or waddle to on Saturday.
5. There are Toddler-Only Nutcracker Productions
You can no longer blame your lack of rhythm on genetics. Three-year-olds are literally dancing the iconic performance in under 16 minutes. Apparently there’s a social message coming from the toddlers, too. “The show takes a modern crack at the old holiday story, with an eye toward the dangers of consumerism,” according to TimeOut New York. So buy a ticket and support the opposition of consumerism, I guess!
6. There is a “Mitzvah Tank Parade”
Mitzvah tanks– no less than two of which were stationed at Astor Place today– are RVs filled with Orthodox Jewish men and boys spreading the good word. Not to be confused with your run-of-the-mill holiday dress-up and float parade, the mitvah tank parade is strictly business — focused on giving treats to anyone they see.
7. So. Many. Tree. Lightings.
We get it, Christmas trees are pretty. So are televisions and your Netflix queue, and you don’t have to stand outside in the cold in a crowd to see that. Also, this needs to be said. Is the best place for your tree actually next to the window facing the street you live on, or are you just trying to show off your latest $35 Pottery Barn ornament?
8. Pop-Ups Take Over
Are pop-ups still cool in 2018? Do they actually make money? Will Rihanna show up when I go? What, exactly do these things have to do with Christmas? Why do I feel jolly entering them? Is this the placebo effect? Why do you do this to me, New York City real estate?