Imagine this bagel sandwich, but 50 times bigger. Photo courtesy of Acme Smoked Fish

If you’ve ever wanted to throw a pie in someone’s face, now’s your chance. Jennifer Rubell, the conceptual artist who built a giant cookie jar resembling Hillary Clinton’s pantsuit, is inviting you to fling pies at her during a performance at the new Meredith Rosen Gallery, opening next week. Or maybe you’d rather stuff your own face with bagels? Head over to Brooklyn’s Acme Smoked Fish next Friday, where they’re building a super-sized (we’re talking a few hundred pounds here) bagel sandwich in honor of National Bagel and Lox Day.

First, the pies: Rubell’s performance, entitled “Slapstick,” is part of an exhibition that will also feature her paintings. During the Feb. 8 opening, from 6pm to 8pm, there’ll be hundreds of pies on a pedestal. One viewer at a time will get to pick one and, yes, “throw it in Rubell’s face,” per a press release. This is the first time that Rubell will be an active participant in her performance art; past performances have included “50 Cakes,” a celebration of her parents’ 50th wedding anniversary where guests were each spoon-fed a bite of cake from one of 50 participants (including her parents), and “Faith,” which is best described as a see-saw covered in egg custard tarts.

Now, the bagels: While you might think you’re an appetizing connoisseur, you probably haven’t seen what Acme Smoked Fish is cooking up, in a delicious partnership with Zucker Bagels. The two New York City businesses will assemble a giant bagel and lox sandwich next Friday, Feb. 9, complete with the works: cream cheese, red onion, tomatoes, and capers. The teams behind this giant bagel creation hope to break a Guinness world record in the process, seeing as the sandwich is estimated to weigh a few hundred pounds when all is said and done. And once they’ve broken the world record (or not), the bagel behemoth will be cut and fed to anyone attending.

The bagel assembly will take place at Acme’s Greenpoint headquarters, at 30 Gem Street, next Friday at noon. The event is free and open to the public, with no advance tickets required– just a love of smoked salmon and bagels.