Because you probably aren’t going to be at Trump Tower, sipping on that $17 “Boardroom” cocktail, here’s where to watch on Tuesday.
Williamsburg distillery and bar The Shanty seems to really enjoy plying folks with free liquor, and tonight will be no exception. Thank God, as you’ll surely need it no matter what transpires. Sip on complimentary Pink Gin and Rock Rye while you bite your nails in anticipation, and when the end results are called, you’ll be able to soak up all that booze with some pizza. Keep your mouth occupied and maybe everything will be okay.
This one’s for those who like to stifle their fear with laughter. Political comedy and music group Political Subversities has gathered a merry bunch of jokesters to keep you chuckling while simultaneously giving you the election night results as they happen. In addition to the snappy PoliSub ensemble, there’s Aparna Nancherla (Late Night with Seth Meyers writer, Totally Biased), mind reader and mentalist Vinny DePonto, musical comedy outfit Pop Roulette, comedian and Reductress editor Nicole Silverberg, improv/sketch group Gentlemen Party, and many others. At this point, what else can we do but laugh?
Join the over-the-top House of Yes crew for some free erection, er, election fun. There’s no doubt your Tuesday night will be livened up by their grand quest to “fuck everything we can, while we still can,” as reality as we know it threatens to slip away. The festivities include live election results, patriotic drink specials, pole dancing (literally, it’s House of Yes), and possibly pizza. Dress in your most outlandish political garb and you could win a $100 cash prize. Costume suggestions, as per the hosts, include “A Presidential Cabinet,” “Founding Fathers and Leather Daddies,” and more. Go wild.
“DIY gone legit” venue Sunnyvale is putting its own spin on the tired model of “screen [insert political event here] and drink.” Why not do that and add live bands? This all-ages show features sets from eight different music acts, punctuated by live election results along the way. Headlining is New Holland, an “acoustic sad bedroom folk” group from New Orleans, with additional sets by Slight, Dark Tea, and several other bands and solo artists. Roll up, grab an I Am The Liquor (a “trailer park Long Island iced tea”) from the bar, and rock out after rocking the vote.
If you’re looking for a cheap way to get your drink on, aka the least expensive way to get through this election the inebriated way, your favorite neighborhood bookstore cafe has you covered. Hosted by Sixpoint Brewery, the last night of the store’s Election Fever series will be complete with a plethora of surprises, including unannounced special guests, snacks for all, drinking games, and more. All while you watch the results flow in.
Every screen in the cinema bar will be showing the election results and keeping the party bumping until a winner is declared, “hopefully to a champagne toast” (interpret as you will). Videology will not be taking reservations for the big party, so get there early! Drink specials are guaranteed for your viewing pleasure.
The first 200 attendees to purchase a drink will get T-shirts that say “We’re screwed,” and honestly, what more could we want than a garment that reads our pessimistic mind? Get down with the free swag, $3 bottles of Budweiser or cans of PBR, and free American flags if you’re feeling particularly patriotic at this Mexican sports bar. You can also color in a map as states are called, to both visualize how the election is turning out and get in touch with your inner (beer swilling) child.
All Night Happy Hour at Nitehawk
136 Metropolitan Ave., Williamsburg, 8 pm- 1am: FREE.
Besides the voting because it’s your civic duty thing, bring your “I voted” sticker or wristband to the Lo-Res bar, and you’ll be rewarded with cheap booze. All through the night, special happy hour prices will be offered to everyone who voted, and Lo-Res will put away the VHS and air election results instead. As if you didn’t already need a reason to vote.
Headcount’s “Soundtrack to History” Ft. Everyone Orchestra W/ Steve Kimock + Members of the Disco Biscuits, moe., Snarky Puppy, Big Gigantic, Twiddle and More at Brooklyn Bowl
61 Wythe Ave., Williamsburg, 8 pm: $25-$250 .
Who says politics can’t be creative? While the election is being shown on every television and projection screen at Brooklyn Bowl, Everyone Orchestra will create a dramatic, live “Soundtrack to History,” translating the results and mood of the crowd in real time to improvised jams. Musicians include Marc Brownstein (Disco Biscuits), Vinnie Amico (moe.), and Jeremy Salken (Big Gigantic).
Election Night at Professor Thom’s
219 2nd Ave., East Village: FREE.
Professor Thom’s has just the incentive to get your through the night: Every time a state is called, a magical little wheel is spun to land on a new deal, like 25-cent wings, discounted pitchers, BOGO drinks, and more. If you’re not on the edge of your seat for the election, maybe this will do it.
Arrive on time at National Sawdust, so you can see the East Coast results as soon as they roll in. They’ll be screened on a 16′ x 9′ projection screen, just in case you want to see your candidate of choice as a giant. Of course, election-themed cocktails and food specials will be on the menu to keep you in the spirit.
Additional reporting by Cassidy Dawn Graves.