(Photos: Konstantin Sergeyev/Taylor Davidson. Illustration: Daniel Maurer)

(Photos: Konstantin Sergeyev/Taylor Davidson. Illustration: Daniel Maurer)

While the city waits in terror to find out which neighborhood SantaCon will infect on Dec. 10 (Gothamist claimed Williamsburg, but a source told Patch otherwise), here’s news about a holiday celebration that is not a gushing douche slurry. (Seriously, even Kathy Bates hates the annual gathering of the SantaBros.) The folks at Unsilent Night tell us that the city’s most palatable Christmas event (no offense, Rockettes) will return to the Village on Dec. 17.

For some reason, my computer really wants to autocorrect “Unsilent” to “Insolent,” but, unlike SantaCon, this event is anything but that: Every year, dozens of New Yorkers gather in Washington Square Park with boomboxes. Each are given a cassette that contains an isolated track from an ambient, ethereal composition by Phil Kline, a veteran of Glenn Branca’s ensemble who has also played with Jim Jarmusch. The tracks are all played together as Kline guides everyone to Tompkins Square Park, and the result is the sort of Christmas caroling that Brian Eno can get behind.

For the 25th installment this year, everyone will meet under the arch at 6:45pm. If, unlike this hiphop stormtrooper, you don’t own a boombox, don’t worry: Kline will be handing out some of his own, or you can download the track to play from your phone, or even steam it via app.