(image via Horror Boobs / Tumblr)

(image via Horror Boobs / Tumblr)

Some of us have the distinct memory of weaving up and down the aisles of Kim’s Video– or really, any old-school place of a similar disposition with B-film and cult-movie analogue tapes galore– while an endless stream of campy horror flicks played on the junky old TV set. Did you ever feel a burning desire to run your fingers up and down the spines of those dusty VHS tapes? Then use those same gritty fingers to grab handfuls of mushy bananas and stuff them into your face?

If somehow the answer to this twisted fantasy is “yes,” then you best get over to Terra Firma tonight, because believe it or not all these things will be available to you there, coz lord knows the days of the video store (it’s kind of like Netflix, only IRL) are over and done with. This is where your people are now.

Start your night with a VHS swap, which the organizers are rolling out at 7 pm, for you and your pals to buy, trade, or simply stare at mounds of these old beauties. Now that the last VHS tape player maker has announced they’re done-zo making these big, gorgeous grandma-babies, here’s to hoping you have a stockpile of your own.

The event is part of Brooklyn Fireproof’s weekly screening series held in Terra Firma’s spacious outdoor back-lot, where they’ve been projecting original and strange independent films at sundown on a weekly-basis since early July. Their penultimate screening night of the season is Horror Boobs‘s Night of 1,000 VHS Tapes, the work of “notable members of the modern VHS resurgence,” and the following week the series will wrap up with a retrospective of Acker award-winner Nick Zedd‘s films.

After you’ve got your hands on some tapes of your own, sit back and relax under the stars (or that one star you think you can see but maybe it’s just a weird cluster of light pollution or a UFO probably) for a collection of weird n’ wonderful lo-fi clips, trailers, and “secret” features starting at 9 pm. Matt Desiderio and the Horror Boobs crew are responsible for the scavenger hunt through countless little black rectangles that yields these gem-filled evenings, and they’re promising a trip to “an unknown world of neon spandex and ultra violence” this time around.

I only hope no one accidentally taped over anything– now that would be some real horror!

While you gaze upon strange taped media, you can snack on a variety of Terra Firma’s offerings, including their classic pulled pork sliders, tuna tartare, crab cakes, and tacos. And if you’re thirsty, you can sling back several mixed-up offerings including the Gin and Jam (a sweet concoction of gin, raspberry jam, and lemon), a Moscow Mule made with bourbon, and a Mezcal-grapefruit drink.

(photo: Cassidy Dawn Graves)

(photo: Cassidy Dawn Graves)

Screening indie films in this lot isn’t just an off-the-cuff programming choice for Terra Firma. Brooklyn Fireproof has a long history of events like these– the art space that used to exist in this very space as a coffee shop/bar/ gallery called Brooklyn Fireproof East, ceased operations in 2014, but Brooklyn Fireproof still lives on as a series of sound stages, studios, and equipment rental facilities across the street, while Terra Firma has taken over their cafe space. The Terra Firma owners also tell me they do a comedy night, art opening receptions any time they switch out the art on their walls (created by local artists), DJ nights, and other such events.

It’s nice to see a symbiotic partnership of sorts is happening for the two entities, since so often one space will take over another with no regard for its future or well-being.

(flyer via Bananas / Facebook)

(flyer via Bananas / Facebook)

Stick around after the event if you can, because the party’s just getting started and we’ve still gotta fulfill that freaky banana-fetish fantasy of yours. And fear no– coz your potassium level is about to go off the charts, baby!

Yes, it’s another iteration of recurring queer party BANANAS, hosted by queen Thee Suburbia and Zalika Parsons, with an appearance by a very special guest, Candy Sterling. They’re kicking off their portion of the night with a screening of Zoolander at 10 pm, in case you didn’t get enough cinema action before.

The hosts will get the drag show started at 11 pm, and when 1 am rolls around there’s a “drag open house,” meaning “any queen strolling in from off of the street can perform for tips.” Notably, while this is happening, there’s a banana eating contest. Hopefully you’ll be especially inhibition-less after you’ve imbibed several of their $7 drink-special of the night, consisting of tequila, blue Curacao, and lime. Strangely, no one invited 99 Bananas schnapps (perhaps this might be for the best). I can only assume that incorporating drag into your frantic, mushy, yellow fruit consumption will lead to bonus points with the crowd. And I’m not even going to get into all of the innuendo potential. That’s for you to enjoy all on your own.

If you’re feeling especially crazy, you could even return (or stick around– heh!) for brunch the next day. They’ve got vegan options, really-non-vegan options, and a $15-deal for bottomless mimosas or Bloody Marys, which makes it certainly likely that you may not even remember all the wacky stuff you did the night before. At least you’ll have the VHS tapes to prove it.

Brooklyn Fireproof’s screening series presents Horror Boobs: Night of 1,000 VHS Tapes, 7 pm at Terra Firma, 119 Ingraham Street, Bushwick: FREE.