Crochet art installed in Bushwick by London Kaye. (Photo: londonkayecrochet on Instagram)

Crochet art installed in Bushwick by London Kaye. (Photo: londonkayecrochet on Instagram)

Bushwick Spam wasn’t the only April Fools’ Day ruse that tested the limits of Brooklyn absurdity in order to pull the local alpaca wool over everyone’s eyes. Here’s the rest of today’s faux news reports, from most believable to least believable.

The Hudson Hotel is moving to Brooklyn, promising selvedge denim toilet paper, cold brew imported daily from Japan, and organic eggs from its rooftop chicken coop. [Twitter]

Unlike Newtown Creek perfume, Newtown Creek Bottled Water is not a real thing, despite assurances that “each bottle of this crisp, fresh, all-natural water is sustainably sourced directly from New York City’s Newtown Creek.” [Scouting NY]

Speaking of everyone’s favorite putrid waterway, a new restaurant, Brooklyn Pasture, will serve locally foraged ingredients in dishes like a squirrel burger (using squirrels caught in humane traps in McGorlick and McCarren Park), and salads made with edible greens from around Newtown Creek. [Greenpointers]

Vice is taking over the Roberta’s, with a spokesperson explaining, “We needed an outpost in Bushwick anyway to regain the street cred we had before becoming a bastion of corporate hegemony.” [Bushwick Daily]

In order to reflect a changing community, the Brooklyn Museum is launching White Male History Month, and will replace its Kehinde Wiley exhibition with a “rebrospective” of artwork by white males over the centuries. [Hyperallergic]

A Russian oil baron is building 90-story luxury towers on the Greenpoint waterfront, complete with 24-karat fixtures and six stories of subterranean affordable housing catering to “folks who want to live like mole people.” [Greenpointers]

Over at Burning Bush, where every day is April Fool’s, a Bushwick artist named Manuela de Cristo (name sound familiar?) is selling acid at her art show in order to show what gentrification feels like. [Burning Bush]

Just across the Queens border in Ridgewood, a radiation superfund site near the Halsey stop is being turned into an alpaca farm by the name of Ridgewool. [Ridgewood Social]

Meanwhile in Manhattan
The annual press release for the April Fools Day Parade, created by East Village artist and prankster Joey Skaggs, promises a “Sarah Palin Bar Brawl float” and a “brigade of Russian soldiers en route to the Lower East Side’s Ukrainian neighborhood in order to annex it.” [PDF]

Actually NOT an April Fools’ Day joke
This reading of erotic Moby Dick fan fiction. [Bell House]

This massive amount of peanut butter-smothered weed accidentally shipped to a Crown Heights grocery store. [CBS Local]

This Spaghettios sandwich, by Christina Tosi of Momofuku Milk Bar. [Eater]