(Photos: Daniel Maurer)

(Photos: Daniel Maurer)

We’re coming to you live from Williamsburg’s brand spanking new Starbucks Reserve. If you ask us, the place bears an uncanny resemblance to Blue Bottle, what with the various coffee pots displayed (and for sale) on the shelves, the communal table, the industrial lamps, and the clean wood-paneled walls.

There are a couple of differences, however: first off, there isn’t a line out the door here. In fact, as I type this only three of the 14 stools at the communal table are occupied — one by a reporter and the other by a manager who’s telling him about the store’s New York based designers, the artwork by locals like Susan Weinthaler, and the “nothing but positive feedback” the place has gotten.

That artwork is the other difference.

In addition to the previous yarn art, there’s this mermaid looking at some water towers and smokestacks. It’s by, uh, Seattle-based Tyler Martz.


And a Williamsburg Bridge scene — not unlike Juice Generation’s — that also shows the Domino Sugar Factory. (No, it’s not a Borbay.)


And the aforementioned Susan Weinthaler piece.


Will we be back here for a tasting at the low-slung “reserve bar”? Probs not. But if the place stays this empty and improves its playlist (guys, you couldn’t get Baby’s All Right to curate the music?) we might return during a moment of quiet desperation to tap into its gloriously free WiFi and make use of the restrooms’ chic communal sink.

But only after the reporters clear out.