Kings County Saloon is the Bushwick bar responsible for the smallest penis contest, but somehow the photo above is grosser than anything they’ve previously sent over. And yet we can’t look away.

This, friends, is one of the bacon-and-caramel apples they’ll be serving at their Fall Carnival Spectacular, one of a slew of upcoming events involving clowns (in this particular case, “sad, bad, out-of-control clowns” who’ve been roped into a “clown peep show”). The weekend-long event, happening Saturday and Sunday, October 18 and 19, will also involve a “wheel of spanking” and “sexy pumpkin carving” (is there any other kind?).