While you were sleeping last night, Lady Gaga and Jeff Koons were throwing an “artRave” involving an eight-foot-tall sculpture of naked Gaga modeled after the cover of her new album ARTPOP. Boats were involved, people were excited.

We left midtown and headed down the East River to an undisclosed location later revealed to be the Brooklyn Navy Yards. By the time we docked (and filed out at an excruciating pace) we were steeped in complimentary cider and gender-indifferent eyeliner.

Gaga’s shrieking “little monsters” (and notedly less ecstatic veteran club personas) entered a glowing warehouse. Co-collaborator Marina Abramović lingered behind a flurry of press. The red carpet was white.

Huge, beautiful and drenched in purple light, the room fluoresced, the crowd was beyond. A topless woman gyrated on a picnic table, a man made of feathers pirouetted under a strobe light, rhinestone-covered contortionists bended in half on platforms. While Koons’s pieces maintained their metallic signature, the figures had a refreshing air of intricacy. Projections of Gaga sorting rice or wandering the woods with a grotesque set of teeth played above a current feed of guests’ tweets and instagrams regarding the event.

Oh, and Gaga wore a flying dress.

The night wound down as the seemingly endless flow of Jameson proceeded to cease. Boats back to the real world were boarded tipsily. “It was beautiful in every sense of the word,” cooed Gina Cream, a towering vision in a gold dress. “Sexually, artistically…it felt like home.” Joce, a downtown dancer and circuit fixture, added, “Two words: life changing. It was a perfect balance of everything we stand for: art, fashion, music, and nightlife. It’s a lifestyle. A divine experience, thank god for Gaga.”

If you missed the festivities, you can catch Gaga at 4 Times Square Thursday at midnight, when she cuts the ribbon at Manhattan’s newest H&M location. According to a press release, the 42,000 square-foot behemoth features a 7,000-square-feet of LED screens, a “digital runway” that projects guests onto the street, interactive mannequins, and 53-foot glitter wall. Which all sounds very Koonsian.