Christian Rudder

Christian Rudder

Remember the Love Calculator? Though still a reliable standby, we’ve come a long way since the days when we depended on Dr. Love to diagnose compatibility. There’s now a whole universe of dating data out there thanks to the explosion of Internet dating sites. Christian Rudder, co-founder of endless source of romantic hilarity, OkCupid, put his Harvard degree in mathematics to good use and tapped into this datasphere. Tonight at the Yard, he’ll present material from his forthcoming book about data driven matchmaking.

Rumor has it there will be free food from Brooklyn Salsa Company, so this event will no doubt be SPICY.

To get you psyched for it, here are some snippets from the profiles of Williamsburg’s most eligible OkC bachelors and bachelorettes…

Sumusquodsumus writes, “I served years in the marble halls of Academe as a lecturer in Classics, teaching Ancient Greek, Latin, Roman History and such, in a few universities on the eastern seaboard and also at Fu Jen Da Xue in Taipei. I have a few footnotes in books, and a few pubs.” Really dude? You’re going to shorten “publications” to “pubs.” Having something published is really such a casual, whatever occurrence? Perhaps you will call your girlfriend “GF” as well. Next please.

Dang, Alfrazolam seems cool: “I am a Senior Account Representative for a medical lab in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Free blood work ladies :)” He also enjoys “Calling in to the Sean Hannity radio show and slowly and methodically destroying him in a philosophical debate in front of his audience. Troll of a lifetime!” Clearly, this guy knows how to have fun.

The Rake9905 seemed cute until he admitted, “I can’t watch horror movies while stoned.” Get outta here dude.

Hey, this girl is chill – on a typical Friday night, TakeYouAwayy admits she’s “in bed with some Woody Allen and wine.”

TotallyAWoman writes in her self-summary, “Raised and educated in the Midwest. Moved to Brooklyn in 2011 to be a cliché 20-something attempting to ‘find myself.’” At least she’s self-aware! But hey, let’s give her a second chance because the most private thing she’s willing to admit is “I ate at Guy Fieri’s restaurant once. I didn’t hate it.” Easy to please – score!

If none of these dazzling pitches are doin’ it for ya, who knows — maybe you’ll luck into love IRL at the Yard tonight.