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Your Comprehensive Guide to a Nasty Week of Punk Festivities

(poster by Alexander Heir)

(poster by Alexander Heir)

It’s finally almost here, New York’s Alright 2015! Get excited for this year’s all things punk fest where tons of related official and unofficial happenings are being held in and around Bushwick, Greenpoint, East Williamsburg, and the Lower East Side. And you can stop screaming now, this isn’t a festival in any traditional / horrendous sense of the word, meaning you can put all your eggs in a basket marked “no” as in no you aren’t going to find anyone looking “Coachella as fuck” at this event. Or maybe you will. I haven’t turned on any TVs in a while so there’s a distinct possibility I’ve just been asleep at the wheel and Coachella hats are the new normcore. Well, normcore be damned — it’s time to break out your spikes, boys and girls (but only if you like saxophones).

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Bowie, Bayside, and Taylor Negron: 4 Anniversary Shows Not to Miss

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Some of our favorite institutions, parties, and performances are celebrating big milestones in the next days. Why not join in the festivities?
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This Daily Show Writer Tried to Pack Cats and Fro-Yo Into a Marriage Proposal

Matt-KoffEarlier this week at (Le) Poisson Rouge, Daily Show writer Matt Koff told a very East Village engagement story involving fro-yo, cats, and a trip to Halloween Adventure. Koff was the third of five readers at “How I Learned Breaking Up Is Hard to Do,” the latest iteration of the monthly “How I Learned” storytelling series hosted by Blaise Allysen Kearsley.

In 2006, Koff moved to NYC and found himself a girlfriend on MySpace. Three years later, they were on the phone and she asked, “Why aren’t we engaged yet?” Koff started saving up his unemployment checks to buy a ring — he’d recently been laid off from a proofreading agency — but quickly discovered that it was a lost cause. Instead, with his mom’s help, he got a diamond from his grandmother’s ring and paid for a new setting.
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Watch The Pizza Underground at Brooklyn Bowl, Then See Their Variety Show at LPR

The Pizza Underground played Brooklyn Bowl this past Saturday and footage just hit Youtube, courtesy of Sixdust. Check it out above, and note the cameo by Kurt Cobain’d, singing Nirvana songs in the past tense. If you missed it, don’t worry: you can still catch The Pizza Underground Variety Show at (Le) Poisson Rouge in June.
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Watch the Oscars at One of These 13 Spots and You’ll Be Golden

1926908_10152255670215930_215930380_nAt last year’s Oscars, Seth MacFarlane hosted, Jennifer Lawrence tripped, and Ben Affleck called his marriage to Jennifer Garner “work.” Movie musicals and James Bond were celebrated, because nobody — except 40 million viewers — wants a short ceremony, and the producers had to bookend some very expensive commercial time.

This weekend, we found a smattering of places where you can share eye rolls (it’s the 75th anniversary of The Wizard of Oz and the theme of the night is “heroes”) or memorial toasts (Roger Ebert, James Gandolfini, Paul Walker, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Harold Ramis).
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Help the Philippines By Seeing Philip Glass or Karaoking With Beauty Queens

David Byrne isn’t the only downtown demigod trying to stem the effects of Typhoon Haiyan/Yolanda (that’s him above, at a benefit performance of “Here Lies Love,” last month). Le Poisson Rouge just announced that Philip Glass will play a benefit show there next Thursday. And it isn’t your only chance to help the Philippines.
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Hang On to Yourself, We’ve Got 30 Images From BowieBall

Marissa Braddock

Marissa Braddock

"I love David Bowie. He's my soulmate forever and ever. My roommate is a makeup artist, so she helped make this insane lightning bolt on my face."

Demanda Dahling

Demanda Dahling

Q. What inspired your look tonight? A. Marijuana

Chris Alberts

Chris Alberts

"This is my first time wearing a wig. As for the mullet, it's my first multi-colored one."

Olivia Barr

Olivia Barr

"Hopefully David Bowie would be amused if he saw this."

Princess Mickey Jager

Princess Mickey Jager

"What I'm wearing is just things I've had around. I'm a drag queen working in the Brooklyn circuit. So these are just normal items in my wardrobe."

Aaron Bolt

Aaron Bolt

"The rhinestones are staying on because of a combination of eyelash glue, rubber cement and spray glue. I don't think it's healthy to put rubber cement on your body -- my right side is burning. My look is a lot of David Bowie, a little disco, and a little Maison Margiela."

Andrew Clancey

Andrew Clancey

"I wanted to look glamorous, but still representing David Bowie."

Noreen Souza-Bailey

Noreen Souza-Bailey

"I am dressed as David Bowie in the labyrinth. I just happened to have this wig, I'm a prop master for TV and film. This is from a movie on a punk rock heroin addict -- some really crap B-movie."

Devlyn Disguise

Devlyn Disguise

"My thought was to be inspired by David Bowie, but not take it too literally. So many people did the lightning bolt -- I didn't want to be so expected. I did the stars, I did Mesh -- I feel like I am glam rock. This is 1984 fabulous."

Noah Wallace of Hammered Satin

Noah Wallace of Hammered Satin

"I was working on a music video all day, I just came dressed with stuff from the video. I did a song called Foxy Dude with my band, ya know. I'm in a glam rock band. I'm from LA. So of course I am at the Bowie Ball."

Noah Wallace of Hammered Satin

Noah Wallace of Hammered Satin

Mike Greco

Mike Greco

Q. What were your thoughts when you were getting dressed for tonight? A. I dress like this everyday.

Mike Greco's shoes

Mike Greco's shoes

Lisa McQuade

Lisa McQuade

"My hair is basically an extreme rock n' roll mullet with a unicorn twist."

Holly Coddington

Holly Coddington

"I felt like there was so much pressure to, like, be David Bowie. Then I realized we're all David Bowie -- and we've all got our fucked up fabulous shit in our closets."

Jon Neuman

Jon Neuman

"My favorite Bowie song is 'Rebel, Rebel.' I don't know many of his songs, it's just an excuse to wear makeup."

Haley Nicholson

Haley Nicholson

"I honestly found this outfit at Buffalo Exchange, and I was like this is 80s Bowie."

Giozanka

Giozanka

"This look is an intrepretation of myself, the 80s, and David Bowie."

Deryck Todd announcing performers.

Deryck Todd announcing performers.

MaryAnne Piccolo

MaryAnne Piccolo

MaryAnne Piccolo performing.

MaryAnne Piccolo performing.

Chain-smoking performance artist Sheila takes the stage.

Chain-smoking performance artist Sheila takes the stage.

30 seconds into Sheila's performance, the stripping begins.

30 seconds into Sheila's performance, the stripping begins.

Faces in the crowd.

Faces in the crowd.

Kitten LaRue

Kitten LaRue

Liz Connolly.

Liz Connolly.

Stella Rose

Stella Rose

Kaul Grice

Kaul Grice

Lenka Varekova

Lenka Varekova

Fake eyelashes left on the bathroom sink.

Fake eyelashes left on the bathroom sink.

Last week Glenn Branca recalled meeting David Bowie: “He was a trip. He really felt like he needed to be the person you imagined him to be.” Saturday at Le Poisson Rouge, everyone felt they needed to be the Thin White Duke, or Ziggy Stardust, or any of Bowie’s countless other personas, because it was the annual BowieBall. Click through to see Amy Lombard’s shots of the action and get a glimpse of life on Mars.