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Week in Comedy: Orgies, Dancing and… Murder?

(Photo: via Union Hall)

(Photo: via Union Hall)

MONDAY

Pasic and Platt: The Orgy
Monday August 29, 8 p.m. at Union Hall: $5
Mo Fry Pasic and Tim Platt are two comedians who have teamed up a few times in the past to disgust, bring dread and even break up. Now, the two are moving their show to Union Hall where they’ll be taking the next logical step and hosting an orgy. Sort of. As the event description explains, they’ll be hosting this show as “a modern couple trying to organize an orgy for, undeniably, the wrong reasons.” It’ll be a show with fewer fast, ridiculous comedy scenes and more slow, serious acting around a ridiculous idea. They’re also joined by a bill packed with other great comedians and actors, including Carmen Christopher, Aaron Jackson, Betsy Kenney and Anna Drezen.

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Cancel Yr Date With the Night: YYY’s Drummer Brian Chase Takes Over The Stone

Brian Chase isn’t just the Jonathan Safran Foer doppelganger who drums in the Yeah Yeah Yeahs: whether he’s sidelining with a supergroup or helping pay tribute to Lou Reed and Bowie, the guy is somewhat of a renaissance man. Unbeknownst to 99.99999% of people who have “Maps” in their iTunes library, he regularly sits in at John Zorn’s East Village venue The Stone, and has also appeared on some recordings released by Zorn’s record label, Tzadik. So it’s no surprise The Stone has tapped him to be an artist in residence in October.

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A Chinatown Aquarium Store Stays Afloat

(Photos: Angelina Xu)

(Photos: Angelina Xu)

When Chi Hung Cho was four, his brother’s girlfriend bought him his very first pet fish–two Ryukin goldfish. The pair lived in his 10-gallon aquarium inside his family’s Chinatown apartment for the next five or so years. Since then, “fishkeeping” as he calls it, has become a big part of his life.
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Puppy Stolen From Laundromat; $1K-a-Month Treehouse ‘For Rent’

A 20-year-old house cleaner was arrested Tuesday after allegedly sneaking into a client’s residence on July 25 to bound, blindfold and rape her. [NY Daily News]

On Monday afternoon, a cockalier spaniel puppy named Pippen was stolen from his owner’s Knickerbocker Avenue laundromat. The incident was captured on video. [Pix 11]

Police say a cyclist in Williamsburg verbally abused a driver before hitting him in the face and helping herself to his sunglasses last Friday. [DNA Info]

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Ex-Interpol Bassist Carlos Dengler Monkeys Around With a One Man Show

(Photo courtesy of Carlos Dengler)

(Photo courtesy of Carlos Dengler)

There’s a singular, surreal, and very memorable moment invoked by Carlos Dengler in his new solo stage production Homo Sapiens Interruptus (the last performance, part of the FringeNYC festival is tonight, 9:30 pm at 64E4 Underground in the East Village).

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Artist Lorna Simpson Brings Her Arresting Collages to the Bowery

'Soundlessness,' 2016 (Courtesy of Lorna Simpson and Salon 94

‘Soundlessness,’ 2016 (Courtesy of Lorna Simpson and Salon 94

Lorna Simpson is returning to Salon 94 for her third exhibition at the Bowery gallery. The Brooklyn-born artist became well-known in the mid-’80s for her large-scale works combining photography and textual elements with watercolor, ink, or acrylic paint, and creating nuanced statements on contemporary society’s perception of race, gender, and identity. Her show at Salon 94, opening September 8, will feature a number of paintings that premiered in the 55th Venice Biennale.

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South By South Death is the Music-Festival Slasher Musical You Didn’t Know You Needed

(image via National Sawdust)

(image via National Sawdust)

America is replete with music festivals (especially this summer, New York). There are so many it could make your head spin, causing you to momentarily lose sanity and fall into a killing spree.

That’s not exactly what happens in Jared Saltiel and Toby Singer‘s new musical South By South Death, but it’s close—the show is about a group of friends who head south to attend the infamous “Didgeridoo Music Festival,” conveniently set on a remote island. At the festival, pop star “Ciley Myrus” is headlining, but there’s something darker afoot. Someone in a Myrus mask begins killing everyone and documenting the carnage. Through selfies, of course. As more and more people die, there’s another disaster looming, this one of the natural variety: Hurricane Beyoncé.

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Week in Music: Exile on Girl Street and One Righteously Bubbly Bubu Crew

(Image via Sunnyvale/ Facebook)

(Image via Sunnyvale/ Facebook)

OMG You’re a Girl Drummer?!
w/ Milk Dick, Desert Sharks, Prima, Fraidycat, Rizzos
Saturday August 27, 8 pm at Sunnyvale: $8
“Girl bands.” You know the term. In fact, you’ve probably even used it a few times– I know I have. It’s easy to do, and sometimes difficult to avoid, even for people who identify as feminists. But we should really stop saying it. All of us.

It happens because the image of an “ideal” rock n’ roll band has been hammered into us from day one, starting  at the moment your crazy, mustachioed Uncle Frank threw on Exile on Main Street and started whirling his tubby hips around and around, sloshing beer onto your thin, porous baby skull for the first time (whether it dripped down your tufts of hair or just sat there on top determined how the rest of your life plays out– slumped over in a dark dive bar or squatting on an exercise-ball, bushy-tailed and bright-eyed at Generic Tech Startup X).

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Bling Snatchings On LES; Heroin Bust in East Village

A 60-year-old man was arrested Saturday for selling heroin at the intersection of E. 14th Street and 1st Avenue. [Town & Village]

Three incidences of a man grabbing necklaces off of women’s necks have been reported on the Lower East Side since July 20. [DNA Info]

Yesterday morning, the FDNY responded to a reported air conditioner fire at 104 Avenue B. [EV Grieve]

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Jerome’s Will Go Out With a Bang, Throws One Last Party Tonight

The crowd at Jerome's at last call during their final Saturday night featuring co-owner Omire Shellaf (top, center) and DJ's Prince Terrance and Nate Turbow (top, first and second from left) (Photo: Courtesy of Nick McManus)

The crowd at Jerome’s at last call during their final Saturday night featuring co-owner Omri S. Quire (top, center) and DJ’s Prince Terrance and Nate Turbow (top, first and second from left) (Photo: Courtesy of Nick McManus)

Another day, another watering hole that’s closing. This time it’s Jerome’s, the Lower East Side late-night staple just steps from the Williamsburg Bridge, which will be closing its doors for good tonight. Formerly known as St. Jerome’s, it was reincarnated into Rivington F&B in 2014, and was a favorite LES hangout for Lady Gaga.

After St. Jerome’s was revamped into Rivington F&B in March 2014 by Jonas Pelli, a former bartender and manager at St. Jerome’s, and his new partners in crime Omri S. Quire and Paul Seres of The DL, the bar expanded with a new backroom, a fresh cocktail list, and a food menu.

After the makeover, patrons who remembered and loved St. Jerome’s back from its down-and-dirty days were afraid the bar would become a bro-festered lounge, but for the most part Rivington F&B (still known as Jerome’s) managed to pay homage to its wilder roots. The laid-back vibes, a small dance floor in the back, and their rock ‘n’ roll aesthetic simply made the spot feel like a slightly posher version of the beaten-up dive bar it once was. The chalkboard doors in the front would sport homages to recently deceased music legends, including Bowie and Prince.

Artist Russel Murphy (center) playing pool with friends during the final Saturday night at Jerome's (Photo: Courtesy of Nick McManus)

Artist Russel Murphy (center) playing pool with friends during the final Saturday night at Jerome’s (Photo: Courtesy of Nick McManus)

While the owners wouldn’t explain exactly why they had to close – S. Quire simply said “it’s out of our control” – Bowery Boogie reported back in June that the space had apparently been bought by new owners who plan to turn it into something called the LES Junction, although there’s little information about the spot as of yet. The new owners Gavin Downie and Lynn McNeill submitted a liquor license request to the Community Board 3 for 155 Rivington back in May.

Pelli and S. Quire had a big blowout on Saturday night with DJs Prince Terrence and Nate Turbow to celebrate their last weekend at Jerome’s, as well as an “insane” Monday night party, which became a collaboration of their popular “Magic Monday” and “Dollhouse” parties. “We’ve let our DJs and employees each do their own send-off this week,” S. Quire explained.

The after-hours VIP crowd at Jerome's featuring co-owner Omri Shellaf (far left) (Photo: Courtesy of Nick McManus)

The after-hours VIP crowd at Jerome’s featuring co-owner Omri S. Quire (far left) (Photo: Courtesy of Nick McManus)

S. Quire wistfully said that in a way, it was fitting that they would have one last hurrah on a Wednesday. “We actually opened on a Wednesday with a party called Clubhouse Déjà Vu, which is a throwback to the old St. Jerome’s,” he said, explaining that the original Jerome’s used to be nicknamed “the clubhouse.”

Naturally, tonight’s party will carry that moniker, and feature DJs Marty E. and Ian Eldorado spinning tunes until 4am.

Nonetheless, it was clear that S. Quire and Pelli were sad to have to close down. “It’s hard to let go of anything to which you devote so much time and effort. We’ve got a lot of great memories, learned a lot and made many new friends and we hope that everyone else who’s been coming to the bar has gained as much as us,” S. Quire explained.

The crowd outside Jerome's after leaving the final Saturday night (Photo: Courtesy of Nick McManus)

The crowd outside Jerome’s after leaving the final Saturday night (Photo: Courtesy of Nick McManus)

But S. Quire and Pelli are Lower East Siders till the bitter end, and have been hatching some new ideas for ventures around the neighborhood. “We need to find the real estate first,” Pelli said.

One thing’s for sure though: they’re not moving to Brooklyn. “Brooklyn is not us,” Pelli said decisively.

Jerome’s at Rivington F&B, 115 Rivington Street between Suffolk and Clinton Street. Tonight, 5pm – 4am.

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The Monster That is Essex Crossing is One Step Closer to Completion

(Photo: Courtesy of Delancey Street Associates)

(Photo: Courtesy of Delancey Street Associates)

Brace yourselves, the behemoth is coming: the Lower East Side monster development known as Essex Crossing is (sort of close) to completing the first of nine units that will comprise the 1.9 million-square foot project. The developers, Delancey Street Associates, announced the “topping out” of 175 Delancey Street today, which is a fancy developer term for finishing the last part of a building’s basic structure.

However, that doesn’t mean it’s done yet. In fact, the ominously entitled “Site 6,” which is set to be a 14-story building with 100 units of affordable senior housing, won’t be completed until December 2017, a statement from Delancey Street Associates revealed.

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Performance Picks: Western Wildness, 2-Year Anniversaries, Bits N’ Buddy Holly

WEDNESDAY

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Wednesday With Westerns!
Wednesday August 24, 7 pm at City Reliquary; $7.
The City Reliquary, a tiny, quirky wonderland of a museum, will be the location for this western art party this evening. Gallop amongst NYC memorabilia, but don’t get too distracted, as there will be plenty to do on the frontier. Selections include the chance to get your own Wanted poster painted by artist Omer Gal, experimental Japanese movement genre butoh done with a Texas twist, line dancing, a hog-tying contest, theatrical happenings, ghostly songs, wandering Western characters, and surely much else. If you have the gall to come in a Western-themed costume (god forbid nobody mistake you for a lost Republican on the way there), you’ll be greeted with a free shot of tequila or whiskey. As the cow/boy creature on the poster proclaims so proudly, “Be a REAL cowboy like me!” Darn tootin’.

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