We just got word via a press release that Carvel is celebrating the opening of its “newest Lower East Side shoppe” with free ice cream. Exciting, right, Lower East Siders? I mean, the chef-driven flavors at Morganstern’s are alright and all, but nothing tastes quite like big chain ice cream (mmm, tetrasodium pyrophosphate!). There’s just one problem: the shop is at 9 Broadway, which, despite the announcement’s assurances that “Lower East Side guests will also notice digital menu boards,” is not on the Lower East Side. It’s in the Financial District, off of Battery Park, and yet franchisee Eric Chang is quoted as saying, “We hope to serve the Lower East Side for years to come.” Then you might want to move to the Lower East Side, bud. Because your shoppe is in the Financial District.