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Gather ‘Round the Festivus Pole

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dc38ebf0681111e394a00ef4841a629f_8If you’ve seen the holiday windows at The Bean and East Village Pizza (done by Nicolina’s Paint the Town), then you know they’ve showered the corner of First Avenue and East Ninth in Christmas cheer. But a few doors down, one East Village resident is looking out for the rest of us. With Festivus! Should you want to air your grievances on Dec. 23, you know where to go. (Or you could go to Allen Salkin’s place — the Lower East Sider wrote the book on Festivus, after all.) Just don’t let Fox News find out.

Photo from our Instagram

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Stephen Malkmus and Momofuku Are Making Soft-Serve Pornography Together

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tumblr_my03fdjSwc1rljaeco1_1280-11-364x500-customThe folks at Momofuku have always had a huge crush on Pavement (forget the Mega Millions, if you ever dine at one of David Chang’s restaurants without hearing “Shady Lane” we’ll give you $600 million). And now it’s coming to fruition: to celebrate the release of the Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks video we shared last week, Momofuku Milk Bar is doing a “Cinnamon & Lesbians” soft-serve flavor. According to Momofuku, the limited-edition offering will be available at all Milk Bar locations, including the ones in the East Village and Williamsburg, starting Jan. 7.

Matador Records is also psyched about the flavor, and wants you to know the new Malkmus album will stream live here on New Year’s Eve.

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Manatees Are Huge This Year, Says One of These Novelty-Gift Gurus

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Whether you’re looking for an inflatable unicorn horn, a MetroCard bow tie, or a Ryan Gosling coloring book, the East Village is just the place to find those preposterous stocking stuffers. If you’re not giving everyone Bowery-scented air fresheners this year and you’re hard-up for last-minute gift ideas, you’ll want to stop into Random Accessories, Alphabets and Exit 9. We recently did just that, to find out what’s on the shelves and what’s flying off of them. For one thing, Charles Branstool, owner of Exit 9, insists the manatee is “the next big animal to go viral on the shopping scene” (sharknado is totally over, after all). Hear all about that above, and hear from the folks at the other fine gift emporiums below.
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This Itinerate Bookstore Is Settling Down and Adding a Cafe Bar

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(Photo: BGS-QD

(Photo: BGS-QD’s Facebook)

After raising a little over $20,000 this summer, the Bureau of General Services – Queer Division has secured a home for at least the next year.

Back in September, the queer bookstore and events space, where performance artists like Shane Shane and LES legend Penny Arcade have been known to let their freak flags fly, left Strange Loop Gallery, its home of nine and a half months, and took up residence at Cage gallery, around the corner at 83A Hester Street. (Strange Loop, by the way, will celebrate its two-year anniversary with a burlesque show on Thursday.) Now the bookstore announces that it’ll stay at Cage through 2014.
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Read Jill Freedman’s Epic Rant About Photography and the ‘Mechanized Mindlessness’ of Today’s NYC

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We only crop square and we ONLY use the Earlybird filter. (Left to right: Dunn, Freedman and Patterson)

We only crop square and we ONLY use the Earlybird filter. (Left to right: Dunn, Freedman and Patterson)

It’s tough to out-talk Clayton Patterson, the Bloomberg-bashing photographer with the Santa beard who’s basically the Mayor of the LES. But Jill Freedman managed to do just that following a screening of Everybody Street last night at the Apple Store. The acclaimed photographer, whose black-and-white shots of cops, firemen, and street denizens (many of them from the ’70s and ’80s) appear in Cheryl Dunn‘s excellent new documentary about NYC street shooters, joined Patterson and Dunn in a panel discussion, and immediately stole the show by bitching about the bright stage lighting: “Does Apple sell sunglasses?” she winced.
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Check Out Kathleen Hanna’s Anti-Evan Dando Zine, Plus an Excerpt From Bamboo Girl

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evandando001This week is your last chance to see The Punk Singer on the big screen, and you should definitely, definitely catch this cool doc about Kathleen Hanna – one of the most visible and outspoken figures of the Riot Grrl movement – before it leaves IFC Center and Nitehawk on Thursday.

The film’s archival footage of Hanna’s band Bikini Kill – not to mention its interviews with Kim Gordon, Hanna’s bandmates in Le Tigre and her husband Adam Horovitz of the Beastie Boys – filled us with so much nostalgia for the ‘90s (when Courtney Love was so, so much nuttier than she is now) that we were inspired to check out the Riot Grrrl Collection at NYU’s Fales Library.
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16 Things John Waters Wants For Christmas

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watersSantaCon wasn’t the only depraved holiday tradition to hit Manhattan this past weekend, thank goodness: John Waters brought his Christmas tour to Stage 48 on Friday. Sporting a jazzy, snazzy Comme des Garçons outfit that he wouldn’t let an audience member touch (she tried), the mini-mustachioed director of Female Trouble (playing at Nitehawk this week) jumped into stories about the late, great Divine, tackled hairy issues like the “pubic-hair generation gap” (“I went to court so you could see bush; now there isn’t any!”) and wasted no time crapping on one of his most oft-quoted lines (turns out Waters would fuck someone if they didn’t have books — as long as they were cute).
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Party With Videology’s Open Bar or Partake in Spectacle’s Favorites of 2013

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We’re officially in end-of-year mode, which means reading endless year-end lists, working extra hours to pay for Christmas gifts, and hopefully going to Spectacle Theater night after night to catch their Best of Spectacle 2013 series. Their December program features some moments from 2013 you may have missed: it’s their “Now That’s What I Call Hits” but they call it “BoS2K13.” Highlights for this week include: The Embryo Hunts in Secret (12/16), Boxer (12/18), Mary Jane’s Not a Virgin Anymore (12/19), Marquis (12/20), and Anti-Clock (12/21). For a complete list go here!

Catch these and other trilogies, parties and X-mas movies we’re Reel Psyched about this week.
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So, How’s That 24/7 Thing Going For Empire Biscuit?

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A month and a half after Empire Biscuit opened to out-the-door lines and magazine write-ups galore, the biscuit buzz is still going strong: New York dropped two Underground Gourmet stars on the shop today. But that doesn’t mean the place is packed around the clock. It ain’t easy being 24/7 (right across Avenue A, BAD Burger had to give up the dream last year), so we decided to drop in at 6 a.m. and ask the shop’s owners how their “breakfast, lunch, dinner, drunk” business model is holding up.
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