(image via The Glove / Facebook)

Clown Night
Wednesday, September 13 at The Glove, 8 pm: $7

Clowns have been a big news item recently. Recall last year, when there were stories about creepy clowns roaming the streets and congregating by way of Facebook. In the past few months, there have been Juggalos allying with leftists and the latest film version of Stephen King’s IT. If you’re not big on Faygo or horror films but still want to get down with the clown, tonight’s the night, my friends. It’s Clown Night at The Glove, and clowns of all shapes, sizes, and sensibilities will be coming out of the woodwork to show you what they can do. Expect burlesque dancer clowns, Bushwick clowns, clown-filled cinematography by Julie Orlick, clowns in cartoons and on canvas, and much more oddity-filled merriment.


(poster courtesy of Jasper Basch)

Baby Ian Falls Down A Well
Thursday, September 14 at The PIT, 8 pm: $7

In 1987, “Baby” Jessica McClure fell into a well at the age of 18 months. She was trapped for almost 60 hours, but managed to be rescued and is alive and well today. Now, at age 31, all of the headlines I see when I Google her still call her “Baby Jessica,” which seems a little unfortunate. The latest to cling onto this baby’s legacy are comedians Ian Lockwood and Sophie Zucker, who have written a play (originally staged at The Annoyance) in which Baby Jessica is still a baby and still in that well, and is joined in that very same well by Baby Ian, who was distracted by a literal piece of meat and falls in with her. What happens next is anyone’s guess, although I will say that if a “Well, well, well” pun is not made at some point during this play, I will have to travel to the theater and say it myself. Those are the rules, I am just following them.


(flyer via Eventbrite)

You Don’t Have To Be A Doctor
Friday, September 15 at New Women Space, 8 pm: $10-12

Last week when news broke that Trump was planning on ending DACA, an Obama-era immigration policy that temporarily protected undocumented youth from deportation, much effort was put toward stressing how “good” these immigrants were. They had jobs, lacked criminal records, and were brought to the US by their parents instead of coming on their own accord, thus they deserved to stay here. However, this argument, as many have stated, merely reinforces the idea that one must fulfill certain expectations to “belong” in a country. At this point it’s a quintessentially American viewpoint: fancy jobs and high salaries to the front.

This show features children of immigrants who have decided not to go down so-called “stable” career paths, like that of doctor or lawyer. Instead, they tell stories or do comedy, which any clear-headed person including myself will tell you is very far from a clear path to financial success and societal stability. And tonight, you can see these people do what they do best. The lineup includes Tanael Joachim, Marina Gasparyan, Dave Hu, Aditi Natasha Kini, and Sooyah Jun.


(flyer via The Motor Company / Facebook)

Communal Spaces: A Garden Play Festival
September 16-October 1 at various gardens, various times: FREE

Though summer is beginning to wind down (get those beach days in while you still can), the weather accompanying the fall season is pleasant, allowing outdoor comfort in something like jeans and a lighter jacket, with the added bonus of minimal sweating and hopefully minimal mosquito bites. This type of mild weather is perfect for spending time watching shows that happen outside. Fortunately, it’s time once again for Communal Spaces, a theater festival by The Motor Company consisting of short plays staged in garden spaces across the city. This time, the gardens they have selected are in Bushwick and the Ocean Hill section of Bed-Stuy. From 12 pm to 4 pm, one play will be staged in each of five gardens. Make a day of it, and get to know both local playwrights and local green spaces in the city.


(image via Abrons Arts Center)

A Remedy For A Constitutional Crisis
Sunday, September 17 at Abrons Arts Center, 12 pm: FREE

You may not know it, but this Sunday is National Constitution Day, commemorating the anniversary of the day the document was signed. Though this may bring to mind thoughts of American-flag-loving patriots singing the praises of their beloved text that they love to interpret extremely literally despite the fact that society is not the same as it was then, this day of performance and activism does not seem like such a thing.

Instead, artist Maya Ciarrocchi will hold an eight-hour reading of the Constitution’s text, performed by a range of individuals in multiple languages to reflect to diversity of the country it was written for. An eight hour anything certainly seems daunting, but the event will happen in an outdoor amphitheater and includes food, drink, political discussions, and “participatory writing.” Drop by, hang out, and experience a day that’s both American and open to all.