(Photo: Nicholas Cueva)

Lena Dunham said we can always rely on him “to bring the visual thunder,” and that’s definitely what this new Jerry Saltz-emblazoned beach towel does.

Nicholas Cueva, the towel’s mastermind, originally photographed New York’s art critic for a magazine profile. “When Tablet asked me to do his portrait, I immediately thought of him as a crusty towel on the beach,” Cueva said. The “banana hammock” on Saltz’s forehead is a “not-so-subtle nod to sex on the brain,” and the smudge on his cheek is “a little sand, implying a little rough usage,” the Brooklyn-based artist explained.

Saltz was Cueva’s advisor while he attended graduate school in Chicago. “I tried to not let his fame and reputation affect how I treated him in my studio, but he surpassed his reputation by being so incredibly perceptive and knowledgable, I fell for him,” Cueva said.

The towel will be shown next week in an exhibition at Bushwick apartment gallery Mountain. “Along a River of Sapphire Pools” will feature 10 beach towel designs, each in a limited edition of 10, that will cost a cool $130, but can be bought online now. Maybe Cueva will give Saltz a cut of the profits to help the big-time critic with his modest savings account.

This post was updated to include the number of towels for sale.