Wednesday, December 14 at The Rosemont, 9 pm: FREE
This event is for the later crowd, especially if you like to experience a show and a party all at the same time, in the same place. Queers, colorful folk, and nightlife crawlers alike will gather in jazzy Bushwick cocktail bar The Rosemont (opened by Trash Bar’s Aaron Pierce) for a night of lip-sync and general debauchery. The lineup, hosted by Andrew Ayres, includes ultra-flexible burlesque babe Apathy Angel, “vegan goddess” Slater G. String, photographer and performer Gypsy Hill, and “part dandy part showgirl” Nellee Dii. Rounding out the evening is Neon Music, spinning tunes all night. Performances begin at 11 pm, which is late enough to feel mysterious and nightlife-y but early enough for people to actually be conscious for them. Grab one of the Rosemont’s bespoke cocktails (or a beer and a shot) and prepare for a “Sexxxplosion.”
Buffalo Bailey’s Ranch for Gay Horses and Troubled Teen Girls
Thursday, December 15 at Panoply Performance Laboratory, 8 pm: FREE
“THIS IS A 90 MINUTE TIME SHARE PRESENTATION,” states the Facebook event for this curious event, repeatedly and in all caps. In it, it seems, we will get a peek into the lives and hardships of some “gay horses and troubled teen girls” who are just trying to live life on a ranch in the American midwest circa 2005. The presentation is “potentially sponsored” by bigshots like Subaru, Wells Fargo (clarified to be “A Bad Bank”), TD Bank (alternately, “A Good Bank”), and features a foley artist / DJ and “Swiss Cheese.” Nowadays, fiction centering around horses can conjure visions of My Little Pony (and by association…. Bronies) but I can almost guarantee this will be even stranger.
Dylan and Neil Save Christmas
Friday, December 16 at The Annoyance Theater, 8 pm: $10
With the state of the world nowadays (not to mention the state of McDonald’s holiday cups), the regular dose of cheer that the Christmas season brings might not be as joyous this year. If this starts to bring your spirits down, they’re about to be lifted right back up by this pair of true blue Christmas saviors. In Dylan Evans and Neil Sharma’s comedy show Dylan and Neil Save Christmas, they triumphantly vow to take Christmas back from President-elect Donald Trump, who has threatened to cancel it. Probably through a tweet. Can they do it? Find out Friday. And if you’re looking for even more Christmas-themed comedy specifically situated in a Williamsburg basement space, The Annoyance is also performing their unique one-act rendition of A Christmas Carol on Thursday.
Comedy Christmas Spectacular!!!!!
Saturday, December 17 at The Park Church Co-op, 8 pm: $10
In the midst of all the Christmas frills, sometimes it’s good to get back to the basics. The basics, in this case, mean a jam-packed comedy and music show titled with five exclamation points. This Spectacular includes several prolific and noteworthy performers who bring an offbeat sense of creativity to the comedy realm, including rapid-fire character-lover Ana Fabrega, Christmas tree enthusiast Joe Pera, “space prince” and new SNL writer Julio Torres, Patti Harrison (who has made her own show for the “gift-based holidays”), Catherine Cohen, Eudora Peterson, and Steven Markow. In addition to laughs, there will also be music by Mike Sidnam, Super Bad Brad, and Kyle Farrell. The whole shindig is hosted by Lucy Cottrell, who along with Catherine Cohen hosted a “New Age” comedy show in a different Greenpoint church setting earlier in the year. I never thought Hosting Comedy in Greenpoint Churches could be a niche, but you learn something new every day.
House of Yes Xmas Spectacular: Home for the Holidays
Continues through December 22 at House of Yes, 7 pm: $35+
If you’re not into basics, fear not. As usual, the glitzy folks at House of Yes are pulling out all the stops for their annual Christmas Spectacular show. Though this and the comedy show mentioned above are both billed as “Spectaculars,” they will certainly not be the same. House of Yes’s interpretation of “spectacular” leans more toward the pole-dancing and “Santa Klaus Nomi” variety. The show also sports an outer space theme, likely allowing for many strange performative mash-ups of aliens and Christmas characters, probably scantily-clad and decked out in sequins. Last year’s show did in fact include dancing gift boxes, so who knows what holiday object will grow legs and strut its stuff this time around. Or float around in a UFO. Whatever it is, surely it will include sparkles and aerial silks. Friday and Saturday’s shows are sold out, but come Monday and beyond, freedom is yours. Remember to always stay for the afterparty. Punctuality will also be rewarded: those who arrive early to the show will be treated to eggnog and other snacks, as well as an “outer space gift shop.”