Over the weekend someone I’ve never met took this photo of me during my train ride and posted it on Twitter. Duncan Jones, a filmmaker whose work I admire, shared it. It got retweeted 3,400 times.
It takes a lot to be called out for weirdness in New York – and then have it reaffirmed by David Bowie’s son. I can only assume his retweet is what made dozens of people weigh in with comments like “Maybe he comes from the future” and “he’s hacking you right now.” (Well, his retweet and the pained expression on my face.)
To the woman who tweeted, “I’ve seen that exact same guy. Wtf is he doing… extreme creep,” allow me to explain. No, I am not an “air novelist,” as someone else suggested. The truth is, my time felt precious because I had a music video shoot that night – and so, on the very long train ride between Harlem and Chinatown, I decided to type some notes for a screenplay, using a Bluetooth keyboard and THE PHONE IN MY POCKET.
I’m pretty sure the tweeting began while I was still on the 2 train. Before even reaching my stop, Ben Lerman, a self-described “tailgate connoisseur, whiskey sommelier, and lover of sandwiches,” posted the above photo and followed up with this video.
@blerms he's not aimlessly pounding on keys either. He's seemingly typing with purpose. It was this, but for 15 mins pic.twitter.com/vqs5bmpwuY
— Ben Lerman (@blerms) April 2, 2016
Immediate follow-up questions were inevitable: “What’s his WPM? Accuracy? Ulterior motive?”
Then the tweets started trending, and, by the end of the weekend, a couple friends brought them to my attention upon recognizing me. (The same thing used to happen to a lesser degree when I modeled for stock photography to pay my rent.)
If I knew I was being photographed I would have sat with better posture.
I still can’t believe a snapshot of me made the rounds the same weekend that the Panama Papers were published and a comedian got himself photographed on the L reading a book called Ass Eating Made Simple (for a viral video stunt). It was far from a slow news cycle for voyeurism.
There’s been a recent public outcry to shame manspreading, and it’s ironic, right? I squeezed into the smallest spot on that train, yet still got photographed by strangers.
Adding to the irony, the screenplay I was taking notes for was about surveillance – inspired by some of the more nightmarish scenarios I encountered directing a sci-fi, art-house film in China with Ai Weiwei.
I’ve also seen the Laura Poitras “Astro Noise” exhibit at the Whitney twice, so I knew to look over my shoulder – just not nearly over enough.
It’s easy to call out hypocrisy when, as a society, we’re equally quick to champion Edward Snowden with one hand while, with the other, we share anonymous, judgmental photos of our neighbors under the playful guise of social media.
But who am I to judge? I photograph people on public transit all the time.
So, maybe I owe my fellow straphangers some answers.
First off, Ben Lerman, I want you on my side. Let me know if you’d like a letter of recommendation for a future career working for (or outside) a government (or rogue state) anywhere in the world (or for shooting second unit on Person of Interest).
.@blerms @Wolven no, Ben….. YOU are the hardware! #CyberpunkTwist
— Duncan Jones (@ManMadeMoon) April 3, 2016
Duncan Jones – I love Moon.
@blerms @PlagueLovers I've seen that exact same guy. Wtf is he doing. He was looking directly at me and typing. Extreme creep.
— North Starr Vintage (@northstarrrs) April 2, 2016
@northstarrrs ew, I'm sorry :\
— Logan (@PlagueLovers) April 2, 2016
North Starr Vintage and Logan – I am watching you both right now.
@blerms @ManMadeMoon Mavis Beacon is a harsh mistress.
— davidthoughts (@davidthoughts) April 3, 2016
Davidthoughts – Mavis Beacon IS a harsh mistress.
@blerms @ManMadeMoon He’s looking toward the end of the car. I bet he’s hacking the car signage.
— Dave Astels (@dastels_gaming) April 4, 2016
@actioncookbook @blerms THIS FALL ON CBS: TRAINHACKERS
— Matt Berry (@MattBerry05) April 2, 2016
Dave Astels and Matt Berry – If you see something, say something.
@blerms he's actually sat in his top floor office writing a novel and we are all the characters appearing around him as he writes the scene.
— Andrew O'Dell (@odellandy) April 4, 2016
Andrew O’Dell – Wait… I’ve never discussed this with anyone… how did you…?
@blerms I bet this guy is fully vaccinated
— Neil W (@64ink) April 2, 2016
Neil W – Yes.
And to everyone below: Yes, I am from the future, and, occasionally, I plug into the matrix to control everyone and set the city back on course. I’m still saving up to buy a screen.
@blerms @mae_mars relax everyone…he's from the future and he's typing into his glasses about the curios nature of humanity and its gossip.
— TheWalkingAbed (@TheWalkingAbed) April 5, 2016
@blerms @Msosman7Osman he’s clearly from Future Mars and is taking notes for history class on how the end of the world began
— Pissed Off Pixies (@pissedoffpixies) April 3, 2016
@blerms @ManMadeMoon Maybe he comes from the future
— Felipe Arratia (@farratia) April 3, 2016
@blerms @EricCorton Perhaps he’s from the future..
— Barend Henselmans (@groteB) April 3, 2016
@blerms @CheeButter maybe hes a time traveler from the future stuck in 2016 and is trying to get home
— QuattoLlives (@HedNekaNcharge) April 2, 2016
@blerms @MyriamMcFlyy THE FUTURE!
— Hol83 (@FrankSallerie) April 2, 2016
Finally, my advice to the poor girl caught by @blerm eating rotisserie chicken with her fingers but retweeted a mere four times – next time, be more furtive with your private business.
Sometimes you just have to eat a rotisserie chicken with your hands on the subway. pic.twitter.com/ndHc8IKLWA
— Ben Lerman (@blerms) July 3, 2015
Jason Wishnow mocks people in private, because he is a gentleman.
Wolven
Oh Hello there.
Laura
No one was really shaming you. How the hell was anyone supposed to know you were typing to your phone in your pocket? You looked like a random crazy dude in the subway typing into thin air or the voices in your head. It was weird. People share weird things that happen in public. Wtf does that have to do with Edward Snowden or surveillance shit?
Jonah Gruber
Jeez. Calm down.
Dave Astels
aka @dastels_gaming. I was projecting, becasue I’d love to hack the car signage in real time.
Ian Miles Cheong
It’s depressing that some people think it’s okay to point and laugh at others just going about their daily commute for RTs and faves on social media by sharing their mockery with thousands of other people. They wouldn’t like it if they were under the lens.
It’s one thing to take a picture of someone and share it with your friend in private but there’s no call to put any of this on social media and turn it into a circus. Be a jerk in private if you want, but turning your entire brand into a mockery machine is cruel. None of the people who get photographed and mocked were asking for it, or gave their consent to being publicly shamed.
Eva
Now I know that it’s possible to type on the phone in your pocket, which would never have occurred to me. Thanks. 🙂