Mr Gorgeous as Cancerian Crab. (Photo: Eli Schmidt)

Mr Gorgeous as Cancerian Crab. (Photo: Eli Schmidt)

Do you find yourself humming “The Age of Aquarius” in the shower? constantly cursing Mercury retrograde?blaming your misfortunes on Saturn? All of those are, um, signs that you should head to Parkside Lounge tonight for “Zodiac Burlesque: The Best of the West.”

Dakota Kim, a writer and producer of circus and burlesque events, often gets teased by friends for being a free-spirited Sagittarius. Which got her creative juices flowing. “One day I was thinking about how fun a Sagittarian centaur burlesque act would be,” she told us. And thus was born Zodiac Burlesque, hosted by fellow Sagittarius Legs Malone.

Tonight, each sign will be represented either by its Zodiac animal or by a related metaphor: for instance, Burlesque Hall of Famer Mr. Gorgeous (a Cancer) will perform in a gigantic flaming red crab costume, while Amber Ray (Pisces) created a fish costume for her act; Matt Knife will collaborate with Cubby Hall in a two-headed Gemini duet.

Amber Ray (Photo: Adrian Buckmaster)

Amber Ray (Photo: Adrian Buckmaster)

The soundtrack, it goes without saying, will be astrologically themed, featuring zodiac-related hits by Beyoncé and Weird Al.

“I think that horoscopes are a fun and interesting way of understanding ourselves,” said Kim. “In ancient times, astrology was actually part of academia and taken very seriously.”

Needless to say, it won’t be taken all that seriously tonight.

“Zodiac Burlesque: The Best of the West” at Parkside Lounge, 317 East Houston St., Lower East Side, 8pm (doors 7:30 pm), $15