(Photo: Kirsten O’Regan)
After the cocksure mystery-man approach of “Alex A.” (AKA “Mr Right”), we wondered whether the heart-on-sleeve approach might be more effective. In this second flyer we recently spotted in the East Village, “Luis” (who’s just “looking for someone to talk to”) details how his girlfriend of seven years “decided that she couldn’t deal with me and my financial struggle”; “[I]f you have a heart, you can give me a call or text,” reads the flyer. “Don’t be cruel I am really vulnerable right now.” We spoke to Luis to check in on whether the community at large was playing nice.
How old are you, and whereabouts do you live?
34. Brooklyn, Brownsville.
Where did you put up the flyers, and why did you choose those areas?
I put them in the Village: Eighth Street and Houston. I was going to try to put them up in a whole lot of other areas, but something just illogically told me to take that place.
You’ve been having a tough time. Do you think that in New York it’s particularly difficult to make meaningful connections?
Yeah, pretty much people seem somewhat unapproachable. They seem to be walking around not happy. Very pissed off and stuff.
What other strategies have you tried for meeting people?
I tried meetup.com, but it’s kind of hard because you have to consistently meet people and build up the level of the relationship. I might go to a meet-up group, and then it’s not really a meet-up group but a promotion for a party. Or go to one meet-up group but then I can’t consistently come because of my work schedule. Stuff like that.
Have you tried online dating?
No. I wasn’t only looking for a relationship, I was looking to build a social network—friends, you know. I haven’t tried online dating. What I do for work, when I’m not doing my on-the-books job, is selling short stories on the street. My target audience is female so I was trying to sell to some females and some people thought I was something called a “pick-up artist.” Then somebody approached me and asked me, “Are you here for the boot camp? I thought you were here to see the Master.” And then they introduced me to this guy who was a real-life Hitch. He comes on shows to teach people [how to pick up women]. But I don’t have that money, and at the time I wasn’t sure if he could do what he said he could do. But we hit it off and I got cool with him. We met again in Union Square and he demonstrated himself picking up women. And I was blown away. But still I wasn’t going to spend money and he recommended me to read some books. But I haven’t recovered from the last relationship. I haven’t been interacting with the opposite sex in that way. I haven’t got there yet.
Have you had responses to the flyer?
Yeah, I had a lot of prank calls. Somebody called and asked, “Why did you rape so and so?” Somebody called and said, “Hey, you banged my daughter.” Prank calls.
Weird. So no genuine responses?
I had a few, and as time goes on, more and more. I think the better I make the flyer, the more people have contacted me. Now I have artwork, I added some color, better wording. I threw in some of that. Changing it up as it goes. I have more and more people trying to hit me up on Facebook, and more and more people trying to email me. I’m getting text messages every now and then.
Would you say so far the flyer approach has been successful?
Pretty much. You know, I want to put some up in Brooklyn, Queens. I wanna see how it goes in Harlem and Newark.
Do you think you’ll get better responses outside of Manhattan?
I would like to experiment—you never know. It’s not so much quantity, it’s also quality.
What sort of people are you looking to find?
Anybody who’s positive; who’s not gonna be all negative. I feel like I can’t ask for much because everybody has their flaws. You know, I’m just looking for a social network. It’d be good to actually meet people and go out and get a social life.
How long have you lived in NYC?
I would say 13 years.
And you’ve never felt you had a good social group?
Everybody is just very flaky and finicky. And when I was in this relationship, it was all going southward. And I was at a point when I was pursuing entertainment, and I’m not anymore. Now I lost touch with everybody who was in struggling artist-ville. And things always happen in New York—it’s kinda transient. Somebody’s friends with you and then you don’t see them for a while. And you don’t know what happened until years later.
Would you be interested in meeting a girl?
Yeah. Not specifically. But I learnt a lot from the previous relationship I was in. And it would be great to see who’s out there. It’d be good to have someone different from the last one. I can’t even blame her though because she wanted stability and I couldn’t offer that.
Have the responses to the flyer made you feel less alone?
Not yet, because I only started putting them out a few weeks ago. But I would say it gave me hope in humanity.
Would you recommend this approach?
I feel like if too many people do it, it won’t have the same effect. If you get 50 people doing it, it’s like ahhh. Just bombarding something.
When did you get the idea?
I always wanted to think outside the box. I was looking online [for how to meet people] and then I started brainstorming. I was like, “Why not just randomly ask?”