(Drawing by Maelle Doliveux, one of the actors in “The Golden Nipple Ring”)

A beast will descend on the Beast tonight! Behold the 13-foot-long dragon that will appear in “The Golden Nipple Ring” at UCB East.

For the past year, Matt Dennie and Josh Sharp have hosted a monthly variety show called Cool Shit/Weird Shit. “It’s a very East Villagey type show and we aim to do old-school performance stuff that you would’ve seen back in the day at Luna Lounge,” Dennie wrote in an e-mail, referring to the bygone Ludlow Street venue. “Stuff that is cool and weird and doesn’t fit into the typical stand-up, sketch, improv mold.”

As promised, their new play, “The Golden Nipple Ring” is some weird shit, a Lord of the Rings-style tribute that both Peter Jackson and J. R. R. Tolkien would probably denounce.

The show opens with two lowly goat people — Dennis and Sharp — trying to make a quick buck selling off some of their belongings. Down the road comes an old lady (of course) who buys a cursed nipple ring. One hundred years after the ring was forged, it begins to have voodoo powers. Sadly for the old lady, the transaction occurs on the ring’s one hundredth birthday, and she drops dead, only to return as a ghost. She tells the goatmen that, due to her demise, they are once again the ring’s owners. To break the curse, the ring must be put up a dragon’s ass. So the ill-fated duo hurries to find a dragon, dodging all sorts of evildoing along the way. Certain parts of the plot will be improvised, but somehow the show will end with the dragon drinking tea.

“Yeah, it’s pretty absurd!” Dennie wrote.

Two actors will be inside the fabric dragon costume, crouched underneath open umbrellas that will support the weight of its back. A third umbrella will hold up the creature’s head. Ropes and wires will be arranged in a way that further shapes its spine. From the looks of a sketch by Maelle Doliveux, one of six cast members in “The Golden Nipple Ring,” said dragon will be brown with spikes and a short tail, and a head that resembles Pac-Man. Audience members will be encouraged to take selfies with the dragon post-performance.

Cool Shit/Weird Shit presents “The Golden Nipple Ring,” 11:59 p.m., Jan. 24, at UCBeast, 153 E. Third St. at Ave. A.; 212-366-9231; $5