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Stoner Punk, a Post-Twee World Order, and More Shows to See This Week

(Flyer via Alphaville)

Eames Armstrong, The New York Review of Cocksucking, Scant, Brandon Lopez, Lacanthrope, Sapphogeist
Monday March 6, 8 pm at Alphaville: $10

Is life even real anymore? Well, considering that we, fine people of this once and forever great city, now have a band named The New York Review of Cocksucking to call our very own, it’s hard to believe that reality right now is indeed real. How could it be? Especially when the official soundtrack to our lives, at least for a moment– jazzily improvised by none other than the duo Michael Foster and Richard Kamerman (who have done the right thing in choosing a moniker that sounds like a James Franco-produced lit mag)– is a truly alien form of avant-garde freakwave. Lend your ears to their looping tape noise (disintegration incarnate) and saxophone sounds easily mistook for the pleasure wales of fornicating dolphins, and discover that the finite world is overrated.

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Gig Alert: Ghosts of Death By Audio Past, and Bad Kids Go Out at School Night

(Flyer via School Night!)

School Night! with Active Bird Community, Mannequin Pussy, GTY, In India
Monday February 27, 8 pm at Baby’s All Right: FREE with RSVP

LA is invading Brooklyn with an installment of School Night!, a weekday showcase featuring cool bands and presumably some awkward schoolgirl attire, put on by Chris Douridas of LA’s coolest college radio station KCRW.

RSVP and get in the door free before 9:30 pm. After that you’re on your own– even so, the show will only put you out $5. Brooklyn Brewery has volunteered to play the coolest lunch lady ever and hand out free beer, which you too can partake in as long as you can get your butt in the door between 7 pm and 8 pm.

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Gig Alert: Identity Tripping with Pujol, Testing the Limits of Adorable

(Image via Baby's All Right)

(Image via Baby’s All Right)

Hinds, Cold Fronts, Navy Gangs
Friday October 30, 7 pm at Baby’s All Right: $20

I’m just as averse to the term “girl band” as the next girl, but for some reason I can’t resist calling Hinds, an indie rock outfit rolling into town this week from Madrid, a babe band. Before anyone gets all riled up and loses their breakfast sandwich over the label, remember that “babe” is a gender-neutral term and, secondly, a person can qualify as a babe for a number of reasons.

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Our Guide to This Year’s Scary-Good Halloween Parties

WEDNESDAY, OCT. 26

giphyGIFoween
Brooklyn Bazaar, 150 Greenpoint Ave., Greenpoint; 7pm; free

The web’s best animators set out to prove that everything is scarier when it’s looped for all eternity at this contest from the folks at GIPHY and Brooklyn’s Animation Block Party. The coolest entries are being screened and measured up by celebrity judges at the Brooklyn Bazaar’s new four-story space — here’s hoping for lots of animated homages to the dancing pumpkin man. Plus, on Saturday BK Bazaar is doing their “Brooklyn Fright Bazaar,” with musical tributes to The Cramps and The Bee Gees, games, karaoke (guess they found a manager), a Halloween drinking game contest (yikes), food and more.

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Four Shows: Baby’s Gets an Influx of Chinese Rock and Lemmy Goes to Church

(Flyer via Shea Stadium)

(Flyer via Shea Stadium)

Oozing Wound, Electric Hawk, PC Worship, Shimmer
Wednesday October 19, 8 pm at Shea Stadium: $10

The Chicago-based band Oozing Wound are joining local shitar player Justine Frye and whoever’s contributing to his weird-folk drone setup PC Worship at the moment– who, by the way, seem due for some new material soonish, no? Their 2015 record, Basement Hysteria has been in the heavy rotation pile for a while, but then again Frye was busy playing in Glenn Branca’s orchestra not un-recently and I still get that buzzy tinnitus feeling in my ears when I think about the experience. Listen up, though– at this show, we wouldn’t be surprised if you heard some new material.

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Week in Music: Wacky Electro Banana Jammers, Miserable Shoe Gaze, and More

(Image via Berlin)

(Image via Berlin)

Holiday Mountain, Coaches
Wednesday September 28, 8 pm at Berlin: $8 in advance, $10 at the door

Even when they’re jamming an oversized banana down your throat, you might find it sorta hard to swallow Holiday Mountain‘s product. It’s almost as if that great, mushy mass they’re thrusting toward you isn’t edible at all, but something meant to linger in your cheek like a big chunk of chewing tobacco– mmm, actually let’s just go with Big League Chew, coz even though I’ve railed snuff a couple of times in my life, I’m really not sure of the mechanics of actual dip.

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Rage Against the Patriarchy at This Party to Unseat the Stanford Rape Case Judge

(Photo: Courtesy of GRLCVLT)

(Photo: Courtesy of GRLCVLT)

GRLCVLT is back. After initiating a protest/party/girlpower bash back in June to unseat the judge in the now infamous Stanford rape case, the self-described “female secret society” has partnered up with the official campaign to Unseat Judge Aaron Persky, which is led by Michele Dauber, a law professor at Stanford University. Determined to smash the patriarchy one party at a time, these badass ladies are raising funds by hosting their first benefit show this Monday, August 1 at Baby’s All Right.

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Yer Week in Sound: Nola Bounce Legend, Brazilian Rap Phenom, Cleveland Refugees

(Flyer via The Glove)

(Flyer via The Glove)

Frank Hurricane, Machine Listener, Matthew Ryals, Xuan Rong, Skeleton Zoo
Monday July 25, 8 pm at The Glove: $7.
If you’re the proud owner of even half a heart, chances are that you’ve been feeling pretty sympathetic for those back-broken rust belters living in Cleveland, a population that’s shown more than a bit of plucky resilience in the face of economic desertification and industrial decline and governor who briefly campaigned for Pres on a platform that can only be characterized as LOL WTF. But the arrival of the Republican National Convention today just piles on the suffering– thanks to the blonde ambition of everyone’s favorite giant-human-mouth with its own reality TV show.

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Four Shows: Try ‘The Glove’ on For Size + Live Music Returns to the City’s Only Bath-Tub Venue

(Photo via Surfbort/ Elvis Guest House)

(Photo via Surfbort/ Elvis Guest House)

Surfbort, Promise Land, Casey Hopkins, Flasher
Tuesday July 11, 8 pm at Elvis Guesthouse: FREE
It appears that live rock/other non-laptop-fronted music bands have returned to Elvis Guesthouse, which is definitely something we can get behind. Coz let’s be real, as far as cool, newer venus go, it’s slim pickins’ in the East Village. Plus, other than being the hipper more underground bar to the owners’ other venture, Baby’s All Right, (literally– at the end of an unsuspecting staircase to conceivably nowhere, Elvis is subterranean), the place was designed by that dude who does the Boob Pots. Which, if they don’t ring familiar, a liable to sound like a holdout from the days when being “King of the Road” actually meant an embroidered jacket and livin’ coast-to-coast on PBs-and-just-sometime-Js. But throw some fried bananas and bacon on that bish and you’re actually not too far from what the designer guy was going for.

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Your Future Holds Four Rad Shows, Don’t Miss Em

(Image via Cellular Chaos/ Facebook)

(Image via Cellular Chaos/ Facebook)

Cellular Chaos, ONO, Paint Thinner, Weeping Icon, Maximum Ernst
Thursday( March 31, 8 pm at Alphaville: $8
If real nasty, real legit, real rock music– something that rings almost of another era– is what you’re craving, then be sure to hit this Cellular Chaos show next week. You’ll be treated to a band that’s actually spewing straight-up, not-lame rock complete with real urgency, real instruments, and the sort of sweaty, underground-weary belly roar that you can never, ever fake. It’s too bad this particular species of music is in danger of becoming extinct right now– thanks to some truly demented mutations of the form, all too often manifesting as either that commercial-grade, cock-rock slop played in close proximity to vintage orange amps, a pair of leather pants, at least one divorce, and male-pattern baldness or, on the other hand, pip-pop compositions dreamed up by a pair of twee Grimaces wearing matching, hand-embroidered overall numbers, and Colonel Sanders’ ties whose highest aspiration is providing the OST for a Volkswagen commercial (sorry– is it too soon?). But there’s hope– Cellular Chaos spawns none of those rock n’ roll bastard children.

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4 Performances Not to Miss This Weekend

FRIDAY

(photo: Patrick Moore)

(photo: Patrick Moore)

Lear
Continues through February 20 at New York Live Arts, 219 W 19th Street, Chelsea. 7:30pm; Tickets are $15 and can be purchased here
Acclaimed dance artist Valda Setterfeld, sporting a shock of white hair, crafts her own version of Shakespeare’s Lear in collaboration with Irish choreographer John Scott. Interestingly, Setterfeld herself plays Lear while the King’s daughters are played by three men. Don’t expect this to be an evening of period dress and Classical language. Setterfeld may be the right age to play Lear, but this unique and movement-driven creation seems anything but typical.

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Week in Shows: Mystery Ear Juice and a Dolled-Up Punk Band Gets Its Wings

B Boys (Photo via Baby's All Right)

B Boys and who? (Photo via Baby’s All Right/ Photoshop trix by Nicole Disser)

Secret Show 
Wednesday, Jan. 27, 10 pm at Baby’s All Right: $15 at the door

We’re not really all that into surprises. The chances of looking your birthday best after busting open your apartment door to find a surprise party are pretty low, especially considering it’s the one day each year that you leave your pants unbuttoned all the way from the dollar slice place back home. And let’s be real, those grab-bag things are usually filled with plastic dinosaurs, expired condoms, and airplane bottles, anyway– things only a child could love. But when Baby’s All Right threw another one of these secret shows back in December, they gifted us Blood Orange. And even though it would be kind of a not-surprise surprise, we’d be totally cool with another Blood Orange show.

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