(Flyer by Brendan Winick, via Sunnyvale, Facebook)

(Flyer by Brendan Winick, via Sunnyvale, Facebook)

White Rope, Fruit and Flowers, Sweet Baby Jesus, Grim River
Tuesday December 20, 8 pm at Sunnyvale: $10

You’d be crazy to leave your apartment tonight, but if you’ve found a way to wear lipstick and keep your nose warm at the same time, then go for it. If you do so, you’ll be rewarded with some solid rock n’ roll vibes, possibly your last chance to get your fix before the holiday lockdown on all things happy and fun ensues.

Namely, White Rope is dishing out the kind of organ-buzzing whiny boy punk (in an endearing way) that goes down as pleasantly as a bag of fun pills bathed in a glass of warm milk. They kinda remind me of one of my favorite Australian post-punk boy bands, Ausmuteants. Yum!

And let’s be real, music like this is so important this time of year. I recently texted a friend back home to see if he wanted to go to the bar, drink beer, and stare at the wall hang when I get back next week for the holidays. He asked why I was coming back. “Um, it’s Christmas Joe,” I said. “Fuckmas,” he replied. Indeed.

(Flyer via Alphaville)

(Flyer via Alphaville)

Colleen Green and Cassie Ramone X-Mas/Solstice Spectacular 
Wednesday December 21, 8 pm at Alphaville: $10

Unless your parents’ idea of lighting up the Christmas tree is blazing a packed bowl full of trees, I can guarantee that this is the only time you’ll enjoy getting your greens this holiday season. That’s because the spectacularly charming solo serenades of Colleen Green are not just good for you, they’re enjoyable for consumption too.

She’ll be joined by Cassie Ramone, the twisted country-tinged guitar-plucking singer whose music is as cool and aloof as a girl hidden behind heavy bangs can be. For the record, she’s not a long lost Ramones baby, but the guitarist from Vivian Girls.

Willy Muse has been added to the bill too, for a delicate dose of melancholy in case things get too cheerful.

(Flyer via Alphaville)

(Flyer via Alphaville)

Language, Total Slacker, Jemez, Youth Expire, Knights Templar 
Thursday December 22, 8 pm at Alphaville: $10

There’s at least one show happening that’s not going to pan fry your already frostbitten nerves. Total Slacker requires such little effort to enjoy, that rest assured you can save all those ham and gingerbread calories for, well, for something else you wanna do this week. Trust, shivering along will keep you thinner than paper.

And what will be the warm bucket of water to ease you back into this feeling life, you ask? The fact that the proceeds from this show are going to Planned Parenthood. Yay birth control! Don’t worry for even a second that you might doze off and pee your pants, the rest of the lineup surely won’t let that happen. For one, there’s Language, a band that’s what I imagine a mid-career Parquet Courts would sound like if they were transported back in time and making waves in the ’90s college-radio rock scene. Don’t miss Jemez sloshing out their gritty and languid washed-out noise rock either.