LAMPSHADE

For me, Peak Basel came sometime around midnight Saturday, when a young man toting a volume of F. Scott Fitzgerald strolled into Nobu flanked by a pair of semi-naked women with disco-ball pasties and lampshades for heads; the dining room burst into adoring applause as the trio briefly presented itself to a corner booth occupied by Miley Cyrus and Patrick Schwarzenegger.

I’d show you photos, but I was forced to delete them all before security politely walked me out of the dining room and pointed me toward Ghostly International’s poolside after-party for the Pulse Art Fair, where I belonged. Whatever: I snapped this photo as Miley emerged from the dining room in her patented marijuana-leaf shirt.

miley

It wasn’t the first time I’d been shooed away from the Princess of Twerk that week, as I’d failed to get on the list to see her play Beatles songs with the Flaming Lips. But let’s face it, even with Wayne Coyne involved, seeing Miley in disco nips couldn’t have been as great as watching TV on the Radio blaze through an equally stripped-down set at the Deauville, outside of the LES-happy NADA fair on Saturday.

There, Kyp Malone told the loungers at Surf Lodge’s poolside pop-up how beautiful they all were – “but, fucking Ferguson,” he reminded them.

TV

During my four days at Art Week Miami I didn’t see any of the protests that attempted to “shut down” the annual orgy of excess (it’s possible Jerry Saltz’s Twitter feed was more disruptive). But the streets of Wynwood did get taken over by roving hoards looking to take selfies with the new murals.

IMG_2367

And the folks clamoring to get into James Murphy and Soul Clap at Ian Schrager’s luxe new Edition hotel/condo certainly resembled a mob on the verge of rioting. (I never even made it to the doorperson, though I did drink from a gilded pineapple tiki mug in the penthouse, so I won’t complain.) And the amount of weed blazing at the Basel House tent definitely qualified as civil disobedience. As did this Warhol-esque silkscreen by Knowledge Bennett.

basel1

Which reminds us: we were at Art Week for art. (Anyone there to party got completely trolled by Vice’s 20th anniversary show, back home.) We took some photos so you could see what the Lower East Side and Brooklyn galleries were up to without any of the humiliation of trying to get the doorman’s attention at Le Baron (“Julio! Steve! Come on, guys, I’m friends with Andre…”)

Salon 94's booth

Salon 94's booth

Bjarne Melgaard at Gavin Brown's Basel booth.

Bjarne Melgaard at Gavin Brown's Basel booth.

Tunga's

Tunga's "Na Lua" at Luhring Augustine's Basel booth.

Detail of Ajay Kurian's

Detail of Ajay Kurian's "Chicken bone, chicken bone (Need)", 47 Canal.

'Chicken bone, chicken bone (Need)' and 'Without polish (Care)' by Ajay Kurian at 47 Canal's Basel booth.

'Chicken bone, chicken bone (Need)' and 'Without polish (Care)' by Ajay Kurian at 47 Canal's Basel booth.

William Wegman's 'Blondes/Brunettes' at Sperone Westwater's Basel booth.

William Wegman's 'Blondes/Brunettes' at Sperone Westwater's Basel booth.

Right, Not Vital's 'Moon' at Sperone Westwater's Basel booth.

Right, Not Vital's 'Moon' at Sperone Westwater's Basel booth.

Ajay Kurian's 'Hive' at 47 Canal's Basel booth.

Ajay Kurian's 'Hive' at 47 Canal's Basel booth.

Ajay Kurian, 'Hive,' at 47 Canal's Basel booth.

Ajay Kurian, 'Hive,' at 47 Canal's Basel booth.

'James Brown Listening Station' by Tom Sachs at the Sperone Westwater booth, Basel.

'James Brown Listening Station' by Tom Sachs at the Sperone Westwater booth, Basel.

Tracey Emin's 'Humiliated' at Lehmann Maupin's Basel booth.

Tracey Emin's 'Humiliated' at Lehmann Maupin's Basel booth.

At right, painting by Jemima Kirke of

At right, painting by Jemima Kirke of "Girls" at Milk and Night's booth at Select.

Lauren Henkin, 'The Park,' at Foley Gallery's booth at Miami Project.

Lauren Henkin, 'The Park,' at Foley Gallery's booth at Miami Project.

'Mick Jagger' by William Quigley, at Sensei's Select booth.

'Mick Jagger' by William Quigley, at Sensei's Select booth.

More-Vector-Gallery-magic.-'Satan's-Official-Art-Gallery.'

More-Vector-Gallery-magic.-'Satan's-Official-Art-Gallery.'

The Hole's booth at NADA resembled an artist's studio, complete with 'History Painting No. 2' by Evan Roberts, consisting of a chain link fence and balls.

The Hole's booth at NADA resembled an artist's studio, complete with 'History Painting No. 2' by Evan Roberts, consisting of a chain link fence and balls.

'Portrait of Karen Black' by Annie Sprinkle, at Milk and Night's Select booth.

'Portrait of Karen Black' by Annie Sprinkle, at Milk and Night's Select booth.

Daniel Arsham's 'Welcome to the Future,' consisting of thousands of calcified objects from the '90s, at Locust Projects.

Daniel Arsham's 'Welcome to the Future,' consisting of thousands of calcified objects from the '90s, at Locust Projects.

'Welcome to the Future' by Daniel Arsham, at Locust Projects.

'Welcome to the Future' by Daniel Arsham, at Locust Projects.

Detail of 'Welcome to the Future' by Daniel Arsham, Locust Projects.

Detail of 'Welcome to the Future' by Daniel Arsham, Locust Projects.

Phoenix-Lindsey Hall's 'Lost-Lover' (ceramic pillows) at Bushwick Art Crit Group's Select booth.

Phoenix-Lindsey Hall's 'Lost-Lover' (ceramic pillows) at Bushwick Art Crit Group's Select booth.

Meryl Meisler's 'Marisol in White on Knickerbocker Avenue' (1983) at Bushwick Art Crit Group's Select booth.

Meryl Meisler's 'Marisol in White on Knickerbocker Avenue' (1983) at Bushwick Art Crit Group's Select booth.

Drew Van Diest's 'Keep Yr Head (Afloat)', consisting of the artist's meds enclosed in resin, at Bushwick Art Crit Group's Select booth.

Drew Van Diest's 'Keep Yr Head (Afloat)', consisting of the artist's meds enclosed in resin, at Bushwick Art Crit Group's Select booth.

'Outing My Intimates' by Lisa Levy at Bushwick Art Crit Group's Select booth.

'Outing My Intimates' by Lisa Levy at Bushwick Art Crit Group's Select booth.

At the Standard Spa, André Saraiva of Le Baron poses with 'Sofy in Pink' by Petra Collins.

At the Standard Spa, André Saraiva of Le Baron poses with 'Sofy in Pink' by Petra Collins.

Rosario Dawson showed up at the Standard Spa on Friday for a screening of

Rosario Dawson showed up at the Standard Spa on Friday for a screening of "Pheonix Is Rising," in which, dressed in a sequined cape, she performs sexy alchemy on an ice obelisk.

Wizard Skull at 'Festina Lente,' presented by Con Artist Collective and Create Collect

Wizard Skull at 'Festina Lente,' presented by Con Artist Collective and Create Collect

'This Is Not a Cliche' by Josef Pinlac ('inspired by the dearth of artful neon found in art fairs') at Con Artist's Festina Lente

'This Is Not a Cliche' by Josef Pinlac ('inspired by the dearth of artful neon found in art fairs') at Con Artist's Festina Lente

'Sapanur 9' by Jason Mamarella at Con Artist's Festina Lente.

'Sapanur 9' by Jason Mamarella at Con Artist's Festina Lente.

'Let's Go Shopping!' by Neil Powell at Festina Lente (book covers on mounted wood)

'Let's Go Shopping!' by Neil Powell at Festina Lente (book covers on mounted wood)

Jen Stark's teepee at 'Pool Party' (curated by FriendsWithYou and Brooklyn's Grey) at Mondrian South Beach.

Jen Stark's teepee at 'Pool Party' (curated by FriendsWithYou and Brooklyn's Grey) at Mondrian South Beach.

'Eyes of the World' by Brooklyn based Trice at Basel-House.

'Eyes of the World' by Brooklyn based Trice at Basel-House.

Emily Moe Smith at Laurel Gitlin

Emily Moe Smith at Laurel Gitlin

'Satisfaction' by Kelsey Shwetz at Bushwick Art Crit Group's Select booth.

'Satisfaction' by Kelsey Shwetz at Bushwick Art Crit Group's Select booth.

NYC artist Un doing a Steve Jobs memorial in Wynwood.

NYC artist Un doing a Steve Jobs memorial in Wynwood.

Mural by Case at Wynwood Walls.

Mural by Case at Wynwood Walls.

LAMPSHADE

LAMPSHADE

Bjarne Melgaard at Gavin Brown's Basel booth.

Bjarne Melgaard at Gavin Brown's Basel booth.

The Real Fine Arts booth at Basel.

The Real Fine Arts booth at Basel.

Jaya Howey at Bureau's Basel booth.

Jaya Howey at Bureau's Basel booth.

Detail from another work by Chris Jones, Marc Straus at Miami Project.

Detail from another work by Chris Jones, Marc Straus at Miami Project.

Chris Jones detail.

Chris Jones detail.

Chris Jones at Marc Straus, Miami Project.

Chris Jones at Marc Straus, Miami Project.

Adam Katseff, Sasha Wolf Gallery at Miami Project.

Adam Katseff, Sasha Wolf Gallery at Miami Project.

Nonotak at Muriel Guépin Gallery, Miami Project.

Nonotak at Muriel Guépin Gallery, Miami Project.

Dave Eggers admirers at Miami Project.

Dave Eggers admirers at Miami Project.

Stephen Powers at Joshua Liner Gallery, Miami Project.

Stephen Powers at Joshua Liner Gallery, Miami Project.

Niccolo Cosme, Tallybeck Contemporary.

Niccolo Cosme, Tallybeck Contemporary.

Nobuhitu Nishigawara at Tallybeck Contemporary, Miami Project.

Nobuhitu Nishigawara at Tallybeck Contemporary, Miami Project.

From Banksy's 2013 NYC residency; Keszler Gallery's Art Miami booth

From Banksy's 2013 NYC residency; Keszler Gallery's Art Miami booth

Chuck Close's portraits of Philip Glass and himself (2014 and 2013, respectively); Adamson Gallery's booth at Art Miami.

Chuck Close's portraits of Philip Glass and himself (2014 and 2013, respectively); Adamson Gallery's booth at Art Miami.

From Sandro Miller's Malkovich Sessions.

From Sandro Miller's Malkovich Sessions.

Photos from Sandro Miller's Malkovich Sessions, from Catherine Edelman Gallery's Art Miami booth.

Photos from Sandro Miller's Malkovich Sessions, from Catherine Edelman Gallery's Art Miami booth.

Jean-Michel Basquiat food truck at Basel House. Who knows.

Jean-Michel Basquiat food truck at Basel House. Who knows.

Theophilus London at The Hole's party at Soho Studios on Saturday.

Theophilus London at The Hole's party at Soho Studios on Saturday.

Sporting a Clayton Patterson cap, Rivington Starchild of LES band Dahmet grabs a drink at the Select Fair's Art Haus.

Sporting a Clayton Patterson cap, Rivington Starchild of LES band Dahmet grabs a drink at the Select Fair's Art Haus.

Icy and Sot (top) and Jay West (bottom) at The Oil Factory's booth at Select.

Icy and Sot (top) and Jay West (bottom) at The Oil Factory's booth at Select.

Clockwise- Swoon, Shepard Fairey, Kenzo Minami, Vexto, Molly Crabapple, Ricky Powell at Swoon's Braddock Tiles booth at Select.

Clockwise- Swoon, Shepard Fairey, Kenzo Minami, Vexto, Molly Crabapple, Ricky Powell at Swoon's Braddock Tiles booth at Select.

Sooyoung Bae at Spacewomb Gallery's Select booth.

Sooyoung Bae at Spacewomb Gallery's Select booth.

At right, Guerilla Girls poster at Milk and Night's Select booth.

At right, Guerilla Girls poster at Milk and Night's Select booth.

At Regina Rex's NADA booth.

At Regina Rex's NADA booth.

Vector Gallery at Select.

Vector Gallery at Select.

Vector Gallery's Select booth.

Vector Gallery's Select booth.

Frances Perkins at Eli Ping's booth, NADA.

Frances Perkins at Eli Ping's booth, NADA.

Grand Century's booth at NADA.

Grand Century's booth at NADA.

Warhol ephemera at Alden Projects, NADA.

Warhol ephemera at Alden Projects, NADA.

Nick Doyle, Invisible-Exports booth at NADA.

Nick Doyle, Invisible-Exports booth at NADA.

David Scanavino's work at Klaus von Nichtssagend

David Scanavino's work at Klaus von Nichtssagend

Sara Magenheimer at American Contemporary's booth at NADA.

Sara Magenheimer at American Contemporary's booth at NADA.

Detail from Borna Sammak piece at JTT's booth at NADA.

Detail from Borna Sammak piece at JTT's booth at NADA.

Black and white photos with acrylic paint by Margaret Lee, Jack Hanley Gallery at NADA.

Black and white photos with acrylic paint by Margaret Lee, Jack Hanley Gallery at NADA.

The crowd for TV on the Radio at the Deauville.

The crowd for TV on the Radio at the Deauville.

TV on the Radio at the Surf Lodge's pop-up at the Deauville Hotel.

TV on the Radio at the Surf Lodge's pop-up at the Deauville Hotel.

Snakitecture's foot-tall marble run at the Delano.

Snakitecture's foot-tall marble run at the Delano.

Snarkitecture's marble run at the Delano.

Snarkitecture's marble run at the Delano.

Guy in front of me gets ready to gram a photo of Swizz Beatz at the VH1 + Scope party.

Guy in front of me gets ready to gram a photo of Swizz Beatz at the VH1 + Scope party.

Nabiha at the VH1 + Scope party at Mansion on Friday.

Nabiha at the VH1 + Scope party at Mansion on Friday.

IMG_1611

IMG_1611

Olek crotcheted the makeout seats by the Standard Spa's firepit.

Olek crotcheted the makeout seats by the Standard Spa's firepit.

Misaki Kawai's art teepee at Mondrian South Beach.

Misaki Kawai's art teepee at Mondrian South Beach.

Street art in Wynwood.

Street art in Wynwood.