Welcome to Girls Talk, in which two of our favorite New Yorkers share the text messages they sent during this week’s episode of Girls.

(Courtesy of HBO)

(Photo: Jessica Miglio/Courtesy of HBO)

Elna and Jena. (Photo: Jena's Instagram)

Elna and Jena. (Photo: Jena’s Instagram)

The text in green belongs to Elna Baker. Based in Greenpoint, she is the author of The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance, and has appeared on This American Life. On the last Wednesday of each month, she hosts The Talent Show at Littlefield.

The text in white belongs to fellow comedian Jena Friedman. She’s a former writer for The Late Show with David Letterman, who lives in the East Village.

Episode 1: Females Only
Girls1

Girls2

Single-again Marnie is engulfed in emotions and a Rainbow Brite comforter.

Adam visits Hannah at Cafe Grumpy. Unfortunately for him, he runs into his abandoned ex, Natalia, and her way-too-protective friend (played by comedienne Amy Schumer). Schumer’s verbal beatdown escalates to the point where she falsely tells Adam that Natalia’s having his baby. The baby lie is quickly debunked by Natalia.

Girls3

Jessa needs a ride home from rehab.

Girls4

Hannah and Adam rent a car; Shoshanna is their third wheel.

Girls8

Adam punches the radio when Hannah and Shoshanna won’t stop singing along with Adam Levine. Later, nearly dead from estrogen overload, he pulls over and literally takes a hike.

Girls5

Cut to rehab, where Jessa is sparring with an older male crony about lousy fathers.

Girls6

Girls7

Episode 2: Truth or Dare

“I was playing truth or dare the first time I got fingered.” — Hannah

Girls9

Everyone’s iffy about whether clearly unrehabilitated Jessa should get her free pass out of rehab. Hannah confides her doubts to Marnie, who listens on speakerphone with her mom [Rita Wilson]. Hannah springs the prisoner while Marnie solicits maternal, post-Charlie sympathy. “We bought the ingredients to make grilled pizzas and we were going to make grilled pizzas, and on the day we were supposed to do that, he left me.”

Girls10

If you missed last night’s premiere, dry your tears with your misguided list of Golden Globes guesses (Best Actor Andy Samberg?!?) and watch Episode 1 and Episode 2 on YouTube.

And check back next Monday when we’ll have show critiques from two new Girls-talkers.