Are you tired of practicing your best pout in the mirror, positioning yourself in a way that minimizes upper-arm flab, and sexily tousling your hair while you hold your phone up in the air, only to be rewarded with a double chin, a half-closed eye, and a rat’s nest on your head? Then get yourself together and take your sorry, subpar-selfie-taking self to (where else?) American Apparel in Williamsburg tonight.

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