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Your Future Holds Four Rad Shows, Don’t Miss Em

(Image via Cellular Chaos/ Facebook)

(Image via Cellular Chaos/ Facebook)

Cellular Chaos, ONO, Paint Thinner, Weeping Icon, Maximum Ernst
Thursday( March 31, 8 pm at Alphaville: $8
If real nasty, real legit, real rock music– something that rings almost of another era– is what you’re craving, then be sure to hit this Cellular Chaos show next week. You’ll be treated to a band that’s actually spewing straight-up, not-lame rock complete with real urgency, real instruments, and the sort of sweaty, underground-weary belly roar that you can never, ever fake. It’s too bad this particular species of music is in danger of becoming extinct right now– thanks to some truly demented mutations of the form, all too often manifesting as either that commercial-grade, cock-rock slop played in close proximity to vintage orange amps, a pair of leather pants, at least one divorce, and male-pattern baldness or, on the other hand, pip-pop compositions dreamed up by a pair of twee Grimaces wearing matching, hand-embroidered overall numbers, and Colonel Sanders’ ties whose highest aspiration is providing the OST for a Volkswagen commercial (sorry– is it too soon?). But there’s hope– Cellular Chaos spawns none of those rock n’ roll bastard children.

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Market Hotel is Back, For Realz This Time

Sleater-Kinney's sound check before their December 16 show, and the pole heard round the world (Photo by Konstantin Sergeyev for New York magazine)

Sleater-Kinney’s sound check before their December 16 show, and the pole heard round the world (Photo by Konstantin Sergeyev for New York magazine)

Market Hotel did a remarkable job of capturing our attention with that Sleater-Kinney show. It’s almost as if the place is run by someone who knows a thing or two about putting on a great show. Huh. But since the Liquor Man and his cohort of party poopers (er, the State Liquor Authority) had only granted a temporary license for the soft opening, we were starting to get a real bad case of nervous dry mouth at the thought that perhaps we’d be waiting a long time for the Bushwick DIY venue to officially throw open its doors at Broadway-Myrtle. After all, we’d waited about half a decade already…

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That Notorious Pillar at Market Hotel Has Its Own Twitter

DIY venue the Market Hotel is back, as of December 16 (Photo via Market Hotel / Facebook)

DIY venue the Market Hotel is back, as of December 16 – this is back pillar, currently not on Twitter (Photo via Market Hotel / Facebook)

The internet never ceases to amaze us. And after failing to remember who or what broke the internet last, we decided it doesn’t matter at all because it’s been shattered into a million pieces once again. And it was the birth of the Market Hotel Pillar Twitter account (@MarketPillar) — which happened sometime after the DIY venue reopened for what was, by all accounts, a spectacular Sleater-Kinney show — that signaled the internet’s passing.

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