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Week in Film: a Very Lynchian Retrospective, Full-Frontal Greek Mythology, and More


Metamorphoses
Saturday March 25 (10 pm),  Sunday March 26 (7:30 pm), Tuesday March 28 (10 pm) Thursday March 30 (10 pm) at Spectacle: $5, advance tickets available 

You know what’s cool about ancient Greek mythology? It looks good on almost anyone. Even 21st-century French people, as you’ll see in Christophe Honoré’s new film Metamorphoses. It’s actually based on a really old poem–but you already knew that by the film’s title right? Metamorphoses (the original) dates to about 8 AD when this Roman dude named Ovid fused bits from more than 250 existing Greek mythos together to create a pretty wacky piece of non-linear literature that defies the standard didactic, A-to-B tellings that were popular back then. Thankfully, Ovid’s story is every bit as riveting as the OG mythos, which are always chock-full gore, guts, adultery, betrayal and, of course, horny gods mingling with orgy-prone mortals.

(Flyer: Spectacle)

Honoré takes on a complicated couple from the story, Jupiter and Europa. In Ovid’s telling, their relationship blossoms the old-fashioned way– 5 when Jupiter morphs into a bull and after Europa is drawn to the beast by his fancy flower collar, he kidnaps the “Royal Maiden” and then rapes her. Ugh, not cool. Ovid, however, is of the opinion: “Majesty is incompatible truly with love; they cohabit nowhere together.”

So it’s pretty telling that Honoré’s film takes a slightly different approach, where Europa isn’t quite as young as Lolita or anything as creepy as that, and though Jupiter is older and clearly well versed in the fine art of porking, he’s not like some creepy old dude. It’s easier to think of this version of Metamorphoses as a French translation of Buffalo ’66, if Vincent Gallo’s character was a comp lit dropout. Just swap out the stink-eyed, tap-dancing teenager played by Christina Ricci for Honoré’s Europa, who could easily pass for a precocious 14 year-old, but might also just be a 21 year-old virgin (hard to tell). And replace Vincent Gallo, the possibly psychotic, confirmed asshole with another kidnapper douche named Jupiter. Consent is equally iffy, Stockholm Syndrome probable, but unlike Gallo’s lovable but sometimes kinda misogynist. Ok, quite a bit in some scenes.

Eraserhead
Friday March 24 through Sunday April 2 at IFC Center: $14

We haven’t even completed our fourth moon cycle of the year, and IFC is already two-for-two with some bigtime retrospectives. The first was an epic Kubrick showcase, honor of a new documentary about the Tolstoy of film (as seen through the eyes of his personal assistant, a dude who interestingly enough doesn’t give two poo poos about movies). The theater’s second retrospective debuts today and it’s dedicated to David Lynch, whose very own biopic The Art of Life, arrives Friday March 31.

The Films of David Lynch, which of course includes all the classics (Eraserhead the freaky tearjerker, spooktastic Mulholland Driveand Wild at Heart in which you’ll find one of Nick Cage’s best-ever freakouts). But IFC went ahead and smushed in some surprises for the super-fans: Meditation, Creativity, and Peace is a documentary about Lynch’s obsessive devotion to transcendental meditation (apparently it works y’all), and a shorts marathon.

I’m just excited as the next gal to see Lynch films on the big screen, but more than anything I’m hoping all of this will put an end to a linguistic disease that now threatens an entire generation with a permanent speech impediment. It’s observed in the repeated, confused use of the term”Lynchian”– which unfortunately originated as a pretentious way to describe something as resembling the work of David Lynch, and henceforth lost all meaning. It’s usually coupled with a phenomenon that doctors are calling Neurocementia, and there’s a theory that Patient Zero was a member of the VICE editorial staff circa 2006.

The Blob
Friday March 24 and Saturday March 25 at Nitehawk: $12

If you’re feeling like a giant, grumpy slug despite the abundance of sunshine and just a hint of something resembling joy as we edge toward spring, then do us all a favor and don’t show up at the bar after work if you’re just gonna slump over your beer and shoot everyone the evil eye. Go put yourself in a dark room somewhere.

If you want another human to suffer your presence, consider purchasing them a movie ticket–The Blob, which is filling out the midnight slot on both Friday and Saturday this weekend at Nitehawk. Not only will you maintain some semblance of dignity by looking just like a slightly better organism than said Blob, but depending on your date’s taste in… squishy things, you might be able to convince someone to drag your limp, formless body home and you can be ornery blobs together, forever.

Female Trouble
Friday March 24 (9:15 pm), Monday March 27 (7 pm(, Thursday March 30 (9:15 pm) at Anthology Film Archives: $11

As part of Anthology’s Cross Dressing on Screen (March 23 through March 31) which might just be the screening series of the century– John Waters’s Female Trouble is on deck for three whole screenings. Get in line, boys. Divine stars as Dawn Davenport, a hitchhiking hustler looking for work, and crazy enough she finds it– even after getting knocked by a filthy vagrant she bangs on an even nastier mattress in the woods. (Psst, Divine is also the actress underneath all that bum costume.)

Unfortunately this is not the movie where Divine gets raped by an enormous, raging lobster– that’s Multiple Maniacs-. But the baby’s daddy might as well be a crustacean, because Davenport kicks into crazy beast mode that would make you think she’s had an animal bun in the oven when, desperate and on her own, she chews right through the umbilical chord, unleashing the little demon on this cruel and nasty world.

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Soap Library’s Latest Tape Comes With a ‘Holistic’ Accessory, Bath Salts

Jacob Becker MetaFlux (Image: Soap Library)

Soap Library is the “holistic” tape label we told you about in December that’s out there crafting some mighty fine-looking, object-d’art cassette tapes. Big whoop, you say? Well, they also create multi-sensory experiences for their listeners by way of custom accessories that are way cooler than a kooky matching necklace that you’ll never be not-embarrassed enough to wear.

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Week in Shows: Sonic Immersion Excursion and Girls, Girls, Girls

(Flyer via Le Poisson Rouge)

Concert for Immigration Rights: Glasser, Underground System, Tigue, Elena Moon Park & Friends, Ashley Bathgate, and Ljova
Wednesday March 22, doors 7 pm at Le Poisson Rouge: $25

Le Poisson Rouge is hosting a benefit this week for the New York Immigration Coalition, which is cool. As you might expect, they’ve put together an eclectic lineup to help rake in the cash for a chill cause: defending immigrants rights. Funds are going directly to the New York Immigration Coalition (NYIC) which provides services that LPR says are “particularly crucial in the wake of the recent presidential executive actions.” Hear, hear.

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In Dirty Panties: The Musical, an Ex-Sex-Worker Bares All

(Photo courtesy of House of Yes)

Sex positivity is pretty much a given at House of Yes. But more than once, while watching Dirty Panties: the Musical, I had to ask myself, “Was that actual penetration happening in midair?” This raunchy dance-cum-burlesque-cum-neocircus psychedelic performance is about sex work– an issue that’s much more socially and politically charged than anything the venue has ever done. It’s also made possible by sex workers themselves. Anya Sapozhnikovad, the brains behind the production and one of the venue’s two founding mothers, considers it the first thing she’s made that’s “really, really personal.”

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Bigmun & Frost Shot a Smooth-Pop Video at Giglio Feast and It’s the Answer to Our Prayers

Old Dude Winter took the opportunity of his last week in charge to drop a final bowel movement on us: a big ol’ pile of snow to which the city adds its own secret ingredients –mostly street juice and dog refuse– resulting in the world’s grossest Slurpee flavor. But hope may have arrived just in time with a new music video from Bigmun & Frost. Shot in July of last year, it’s a reminder of what summertime is all about in Brooklyn– and for John Bigmun it’s not just backyard kiddie pools filled with beer, it’s also the Giglio Feast that goes down every year in Williamsburg at Lady of Mount Carmel. “It’s like the most amazing thing in the world,” he said. “It’s old Brooklyn, it’s the old country.”

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Week in Film: Cinema Kink a-Go-Go, a Chloë Sevigny Retrospective, and More


Cinekink NYC
Thursday March 16 through Sunday March 19 at Anthology Film Archives: $11 individual screenings, $45 to $85 for all-access pass (get your tickets here

Fet culture and cinema? I mean, duh, guys, they’re a match made in heaven– er, whichever circle of hell doms and bronies go to. (Dunno about you guys, but that’s where I’m hoping to end up, Lucifer willing). That’s why Cinekink NYC– which clears up any confusion by calling itself “the kinky film festival”– is popping off this week for its 14th year.

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Jonesing For Good Shows? Take Your Lady Pills

Lady Pills (Photo via PopGun Presents/ Facebook)

Lady Pills, Dead Stars, RIPS, Monograms
Wednesday March 15, 8 pm at Trans-Pecos: $10 

Another one of our own bit the dust– say it with me: RIP Shea Stadium. Now what? Get out there and keep supporting DIY venues across the city. And yes, that also goes for homegrown spots that just happen to be certified-legit, grown-up, and now pleasant after years of hard and risky work– never forget that these dudes are threatened by the looming, apparently totally arbitrary powers that be.

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Art Show Delights in Rapper’s Legacy, for 20 Years Biggie’s Reach Only Got Bigger

(Photo: Nicole Disser)

Deathdays aren’t usually cause for celebration, but in the case of Christopher Wallace– better known as Biggie Smalls– it only makes sense to organize an art show dedicated to the late rapper around the afterlife. Without it, 20 Big Years would have denied the necromancy that runs throughout the life work of Notorious B.I.G. (his mere two studio albums are a clear sign that his life was cut too short), and that has come to define his persona after death. Even if all these ghosts still give his fans the willies. As one visitor, pointing to an altered version of Barron Claiborne’s famous photo of Biggie wearing a crown, said to her friend: “That one with the skull–it’s so morbid, but so deep.” (The friend agreed.)

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Patti Smith Sang Some Lou Reed at a Gala For Anthology Film Archives’ Expansion

Video courtesy of Jonas Mekas

I don’t know about you, but galas are not an everyday thing around these parts– the closest this reporter’s been to a real black-tie-and-gown affair was high school prom, which didn’t even really happen because my date got arrested. So needless to say, when I was somehow allowed to crash the Anthology Film Archives gala –a fancy fundraising party and art auction held last week to raise cash for the theater’s expansion– I was just slightly out of my realm. It was made all the more surreal by a performance from Patti Smith, and seeing people like John Waters, Zosia Mamet, and Zac Posen’s eyebrows all in one room.

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Week in Film: Billy the Kid Was a Punk, a ‘Digital-Organic Trip,’ and More


Dirty Little Billy
Thursday March 9, 9:30 pm at Nitehawk: $16

Legends and lore of the Old West have been distorted so horrendously for modern entertainment purposes that what most people know about Billy the Kid they’ve learned from The Wild Wild West (arguably Will Smith’s greatest cinematic/symphonic achievement ever) and a National Geographic Channel reenactment where the infamous, down-n’dirty, sharp-shootin’ gunslinger is portrayed by a male-frickin’-model.

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Best of Spring/Break: Trump Comics, Disco Queens, and Alcoholtopia

(Photo: Nicole Disser)

At first it was sort of sad that for this year’s rendition, Spring/Break Art Show had traded its eccentric, labyrinthine location inside a disused section of the historic James A. Farley Post Office in Chelsea for an actual office space. But when the elevator doors opened on the 23rd floor of the Condé Nast building in Midtown, the switch-up immediately made so much sense–because, let’s be real, an artist-led hostile takeover of corporate America is exactly what we need right now (even it it’s just for a few days).

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Stoner Punk, a Post-Twee World Order, and More Shows to See This Week

(Flyer via Alphaville)

Eames Armstrong, The New York Review of Cocksucking, Scant, Brandon Lopez, Lacanthrope, Sapphogeist
Monday March 6, 8 pm at Alphaville: $10

Is life even real anymore? Well, considering that we, fine people of this once and forever great city, now have a band named The New York Review of Cocksucking to call our very own, it’s hard to believe that reality right now is indeed real. How could it be? Especially when the official soundtrack to our lives, at least for a moment– jazzily improvised by none other than the duo Michael Foster and Richard Kamerman (who have done the right thing in choosing a moniker that sounds like a James Franco-produced lit mag)– is a truly alien form of avant-garde freakwave. Lend your ears to their looping tape noise (disintegration incarnate) and saxophone sounds easily mistook for the pleasure wales of fornicating dolphins, and discover that the finite world is overrated.

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