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An Iron Maiden Among Cowboys From Hell: I Survived Speed Metal Dating

(Photo: Nicole Disser)

(Photo: Nicole Disser)

Now I have you with me, under my power. Our love grows stronger now with every hour. Look into my eyes, you’ll see who I am. My name is Lucifer, please take my hand. – Black Sabbath

Yesterday eve, a hoard of leather-jacket-clad girls with flowing manes and practiced scowl-pouts made their way to their assigned seats at Saint Vitus. The mood was heavy, everyone seemed to know that they faced the potential for both complete humiliation and romantic glory at the very first Speed Metal Dating. I was among the 74 people who showed up, a sacrificial lamb for stunt journalism.

What happened? Lemmy tell you…

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Rev. Billy: Stop ‘Lining Up For Cupcakes’ and ‘Switch Allegiance to the Earth’

The new book from Reverend Billy (Image courtesy of Rev. Billy)

The new book from Reverend Billy (Image courtesy of Rev. Billy)

“Have you been to one of our shows lately?” Reverend Billy asked me. The answer was– no, I have not. Not ever. In my chat with the eco-activist, author, and radical preacher who “prays to life on earth,” I was curious to know what in heaven’s name a Reverend was doing on the calendar at a Bushwick DIY venue like Market Hotel. But Billy’s explanation brought everything together for me. “They’re a little like mosh pits,” he explained. “It’s a punk gospel for life. It’s a laboratory for getting going again.”

A teaser like that is hard to turn your back on, and so is the Reverend’s larger environmental message: consumerism and “nation-state allegiances” stand in the way of our relationship with the Earth. As the effects of climate change become increasingly apparent, there’s a new kind of urgency to changing our ways, and Reverend Billy believes that calls for physical, direct action are the only way to foment radical change. But when he’s not putting his body on the line to preach against the further slaughter of the earth, the Reverend is hosting shows like the one happening this weekend at the Market Hotel. “I’m trying to preach here,” he said, exasperated. “And along with the choir, we’re trying to inspire activism in our audience.”

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Get Slayed at Speed Metal Dating, This Weekend at Saint Vitus

(Flyer via Dave Hill and Trish Nelson)

(Flyer via Dave Hill and Trish Nelson)

“It might just be crazy enough to work,” mused Dave Hill, the comedian and author who’s now embarking on his second venture in “alt” romantic encounters. It’s Speed Metal Dating, happening this weekend at Saint Vitus!

It’s likely that you know Hill from his Monday night WFMU show The Goddamn Dave Hill Show, or perhaps you recognize him from his Comedy Central appearances and brief bits on Inside Amy Schumer (Hill also has a new book coming out May 10, Dave Hill Doesn’t Live Here Anymore). But it’s also A-OK to admit that you recognize Dave Hill from Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now, the comedian’s original North Brooklyn dating event at the Black Rabbit aimed at rabid fans of the Smiths and Morrissey.

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At The Cans Film Festival, Movies That Are Seminal to Queens and Creatives

"Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" screening tomorrow night at the Cans Film Festival

“Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?” screening tomorrow night at the Cans Film Festival

Film “festival” might not be exactly the right word to describe this brand new monthly queer film series at Williamsburg’s Macri Park, but clearly the curators, Daniel Kessel and Ben Miller, are willing to bend things slightly for a solid pun. The Cans Film Festival pops off tomorrow night with the 1962 cult classic Whatever Happened to Baby Jane

The organizers are hoping to give people access to classic, nostalgic, and just straight-up weird films that have inspired local drag queens and other queer artists. “For queens, these films really shape your aesthetic– and not just queens but every person really, especially artists,” Daniel explained. “Everyone has their own set of films that they particularly love and that have shaped them, especially when they were younger and were coming into their own as people and artists.”

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9 Ways to Do Valentine’s Day That Are More Oddball Than Cheeseball

(Photo: Daniel Maurer)

(Photo: Daniel Maurer)

As inevitable as your student loan bills, Valentine’s Day is once again around the corner. If you’re inclined to celebrate it ironically rather than romantically, fret not: this is, after all, a city of misanthropes. At these Valentine’s weekend events, there’ll be nary a chocolate heart in sight.

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Last Dance at Alt Space Before Crew Takes Off On This Baby Bus

the wee alt bus (Photo: Nicole Disser)

the wee alt bus (Photo: Nicole Disser)

Tonight’s your very last chance to say goodbye to the Montrose Avenue location of Alt Space– the netty, uber-hip physical incarnation of Alt Citizen. We told you last week that the gallery slash super-fetch fashion boutique would close at the end of the month, and now the time is upon us. But we also promised you more deets about where founder Nasa Hadizadeh and the Alt crew would be headed.

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Week in Shows: a Set So Harsh It’s Blister-Popping & a Cyber-Industrial Reawakening

(Flyer via Aviv/ Facebook)

(Flyer via Aviv/ Facebook)

Guido, Ritual Humor, Lover’s Touch, Rubber, Decorum
Monday January 18, 8 pm at Aviv: $8

Late notice, but we know you’re looking for something to do on what’s sure to be a cold-as-hell Monday night anyway. We’re talking something that doesn’t involve drinking a bottle of wine to the face in front of How to Make a Murderer and passing out, mid-text message while you’re attempting to convince your friend that Steven Avery did do it. Rest assured this one’s not going to be outside, but last we checked it’s a good idea to wear a lil cardi and a beanie to Aviv– industrial spaces can be tres drafty, y’all. But even if you’ve got the chills, count on em being long banished by the time the second opener, Rubber, takes the stage.

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Week in Film: STP Freak-Outs Plague the Hippies; an Xmas Demon Stalks ‘Non-Believers’


Silent Night, Deadly Night
Friday Dec. 18 and Saturday Dec. 19, midnight at Nitehawk: $11
Everyone knows the only sufferable holiday films are Xmas-themed horror movies. This 1984 genre classic Silent Night, Deadly Night tells the story of a young boy who witnesses the murder of his parents at the hands of a psychopath dressed as Santa. Traumatized by his exposure to such unspeakable violence, the boy grows into a truly screwed-up young man whose thirst for blood knows no bounds. Oh, and of course he feels the need to don a Santa outfit during his mayhem sprees.
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Fight Back the Tears and Win a Free Bar Tab at Greenpoint Bar

via Diamond Bar

via Diamond Bar

If you wanna win big in Greenpoint Wednesday night, you’re gonna need a secret weapon in your back pocket: Visine. And no, put away your stash– the Cannabis Cup hasn’t moved to North Brooklyn. It’s the second biannual staring contest at The Diamond!

This beloved neighborhood bar will host their second staring contest of the year, with the famous bust of Michael Landon watching over to ensure fair play. “It’s pretty much like what it sounds, and it’s really fun,” said Dave Pollack, owner of The Diamond in Greenpoint.

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Are You Afraid of the Art? Bringing Modern Art Back to the People One Blow at a Time

Flyer via Artenol

Flyer via Artenol

Alexander Melamid speaks in sweeping terms, which is exactly how you might expect a 70-year-old Russian émigré to see the world.  “If the system sucks, everyone sucks within the system,” he boomed. “You cannot be right within the wrong system.” This can be intimidating at first. After all, Melamid is the co-founder, along with Vitaly Komar, of Sots Art, what is sometimes referred to as “Soviet Pop Art.” This is someone whose work many of us have read about in art history books, and so his declarations hold considerable weight for us comparatively smaller people.

But if it were up to Melamid, he’d have those books destroyed.

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