Ok, give me your hands and I’ll read your mind. Hmmm. Interesting. You don’t know the difference between Psychic Twin and Psychic TV? That’s understandable, really—their names are pretty close, and they both have new material out and upcoming shows. I don’t know why you put this shortcoming in the “deepest shame box” in your subconscious, but I do know that the latest installment of Bands Apart can help you get it out of there.
Now, I know that my excellent Photoshop skills have no doubt tricked you into believing that this (see above) is simply your average, un-doctored photo, but— and you’ll have to just take my word on this— it’s actually a composite of two promotional photos. The image on the right was used in ads for indie band Porches’ latest album, Pool, whereas the hotdog’d one on the left was used by performance artist/electronic musician Peaches.
There really are just too many bands. How to keep them all straight? Is it really that hard? The real problem is that there are only so many words in the English language and that I am oh so dumb. Truthfully, how many of you out there have bought tickets to the wrong show, assuming you’d heard of the band only to arrive and find that Rag Stewart is actually a ragtime take on Rod Stewart and not that hardcore band you thought they were? (THE NERVE!) That’s just a (fake) example, but we’re here to give you real ones, and to save you from the trouble of waisting hard-earned money on ragtime shows.
Now that it’s officially summer, we’re in for three-plus months of beach reads, beach bods and, of course, beach bands. After that explosion of nautically themed band names in the ’00s (think Beach House, Beech Creep, Surfer Blood, Shark?, etc.), “beach” band is a confusingly crowded field of surf rockers and lo-fi experimenters and everything in between. Don’t panic, though, we’re here to help. To keep you from looking like a shoobie when the conversation turns to music at the next bonfire singalong, we’ve broken down two Beach bands with upcoming shows that you definitely don’t want to get confused: Beach Slang and Beach Fossils.
Teens are running the show these days. Hell, even the Pope knows they’re “wealth” incarnate. Jaden Smith the 17-year-old, gender-bending style icon is rewriting men’s fashion; Tavi Gevinson, media mogul, Broadway bb, and feminist fashion critic, at 19, is old as shit; and untold numbers of internet celebrities/ Vine stars/YouTube divas exist just to make you feel so out of touch. So it’s no surprise that at least two local bands– TEEN and The Teen Age– are joining in the Adolescent Revolt. With both of them releasing new material, your addled, aging mind is bound to get them confused, so allow us to help out.
Bands Apart is a new weekly column wherein we outline the sometimes vast differences between bands with not-so-different names. Soak up this super important knowledge and we guarantee you’ll impress your friends, bore your mother, and alienate your dog. Up this week: Lazyeyes versus Wolf Eyes.