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Three Shows You Won’t Wanna Miss This Week

(Flyer: Dealer)

Tournament, Big Huge, Barbed Wire, Dealer
Saturday April 15, 8 pm at The Glove: $10 

Grow a pair (or a pear?) and show your face at this pair of shows featuring some unfamiliar faces and others you know well. But don’t expect some double-mint/doppelgänger situation either, as these shows are mirror images of one another in a variety of ways.

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Performance Picks: Chatbots Gone Rogue, Snowed-in Radio Plays, Psychedelic Burlesque

THURSDAY

(flyer via Bordello / Facebook)

(flyer via Bordello / Facebook)

Bordello: Psychedelic
Thursday, January 26 at Bizarre Bushwick, 10 pm: $10 suggested donation 

Sinister and sultry variety show Bordello, hosted by Madame Vivien V, features a slew of out-there performers who will brighten up your night with acts of drag, dance, performance art, fire, and more. On the lineup this time is B-boy and boylesque dancer Eckszooberante and drag performer Chris of Hur, along with performer Amber Von Toxn and Heather, who appears to proudly carry the title of “The Worst.” This iteration of the show, which has been billed as “punk rock meets burlesque meets performance art,” has a psychedelic bent to it, so who knows what sensorial adventures your eyes will be asked to behold. Let the aptly-named DJ Penny Lane spin you into color-crazed oblivion, fix your eyes to the stage, and trip out.

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Week in Shows: Teen Dreams Abound, Discover Digipoetics, and More

(Flyer by Alec Lambert)

(Flyer by Alec Lambert)

The Night Before: Retail, White Rope, Deli Girls
Thursday January 19, 8 pm at The Gateway:$5 in advance/ $8 at the door

Well, there’s a super compressor of shows happening this week between now and, as The Gateway calls it “the inevitable.” And we can’t think of a better way to keep your spirits up and get the ol’ body machine moving than a Retail show. You’ve probably seen retail, since they’re one of the hardest working bands in Brooklyn, a borough full of musicians who churn out records, shows and, in Retail’s case, self-replication by way of march, at a grind-till-death pace.

The question is whether that has been in the form of a sticker stuck to a dive bar bathroom door, or at an actual show— but if you know, then you know. If you don’t, you gotta go. The band’s new record Dead cranks it up by nearly every measure, with face-blasting screams that have the kind of sharpness shaped only by scar tissue. It’s majorly fast, unadulterated hardcore. In other words, total catharsis.

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Gig Alert: Identity Tripping with Pujol, Testing the Limits of Adorable

(Image via Baby's All Right)

(Image via Baby’s All Right)

Hinds, Cold Fronts, Navy Gangs
Friday October 30, 7 pm at Baby’s All Right: $20

I’m just as averse to the term “girl band” as the next girl, but for some reason I can’t resist calling Hinds, an indie rock outfit rolling into town this week from Madrid, a babe band. Before anyone gets all riled up and loses their breakfast sandwich over the label, remember that “babe” is a gender-neutral term and, secondly, a person can qualify as a babe for a number of reasons.

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Our Guide to This Year’s Scary-Good Halloween Parties

WEDNESDAY, OCT. 26

giphyGIFoween
Brooklyn Bazaar, 150 Greenpoint Ave., Greenpoint; 7pm; free

The web’s best animators set out to prove that everything is scarier when it’s looped for all eternity at this contest from the folks at GIPHY and Brooklyn’s Animation Block Party. The coolest entries are being screened and measured up by celebrity judges at the Brooklyn Bazaar’s new four-story space — here’s hoping for lots of animated homages to the dancing pumpkin man. Plus, on Saturday BK Bazaar is doing their “Brooklyn Fright Bazaar,” with musical tributes to The Cramps and The Bee Gees, games, karaoke (guess they found a manager), a Halloween drinking game contest (yikes), food and more.

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Week in Music: Jammin’ Out With Her Clams Out, No-Fi Fitting of The Glove

(Flyer via Saint Vitus)

(Flyer via Saint Vitus)

Chain of Flowers, Bootblacks, Ritual Humor
Wednesday August 31, 8 pm at Saint Vitus: $10

With a band name like Chain of Flowers, you might be thinking, “What have you signed me up for? Some hippie girl shit?” Well, not to ruffle any feathers but this band ain’t nearly as tough as all that. Rather, imagine a pale, gothy frontdude with perfectly applied pallor and lavender lipstick about to embark on the craziest acid trip of his short little life, and you’d be somewhere close to what screams out from this Welsh post-punk outfit’s cotton-candy-pink cassette tape.

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Week in Music: Exile on Girl Street and One Righteously Bubbly Bubu Crew

(Image via Sunnyvale/ Facebook)

(Image via Sunnyvale/ Facebook)

OMG You’re a Girl Drummer?!
w/ Milk Dick, Desert Sharks, Prima, Fraidycat, Rizzos
Saturday August 27, 8 pm at Sunnyvale: $8
“Girl bands.” You know the term. In fact, you’ve probably even used it a few times– I know I have. It’s easy to do, and sometimes difficult to avoid, even for people who identify as feminists. But we should really stop saying it. All of us.

It happens because the image of an “ideal” rock n’ roll band has been hammered into us from day one, starting  at the moment your crazy, mustachioed Uncle Frank threw on Exile on Main Street and started whirling his tubby hips around and around, sloshing beer onto your thin, porous baby skull for the first time (whether it dripped down your tufts of hair or just sat there on top determined how the rest of your life plays out– slumped over in a dark dive bar or squatting on an exercise-ball, bushy-tailed and bright-eyed at Generic Tech Startup X).

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Performance Picks: Western Wildness, 2-Year Anniversaries, Bits N’ Buddy Holly

WEDNESDAY

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Wednesday With Westerns!
Wednesday August 24, 7 pm at City Reliquary; $7.
The City Reliquary, a tiny, quirky wonderland of a museum, will be the location for this western art party this evening. Gallop amongst NYC memorabilia, but don’t get too distracted, as there will be plenty to do on the frontier. Selections include the chance to get your own Wanted poster painted by artist Omer Gal, experimental Japanese movement genre butoh done with a Texas twist, line dancing, a hog-tying contest, theatrical happenings, ghostly songs, wandering Western characters, and surely much else. If you have the gall to come in a Western-themed costume (god forbid nobody mistake you for a lost Republican on the way there), you’ll be greeted with a free shot of tequila or whiskey. As the cow/boy creature on the poster proclaims so proudly, “Be a REAL cowboy like me!” Darn tootin’.

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Yer Week in Sound: Nola Bounce Legend, Brazilian Rap Phenom, Cleveland Refugees

(Flyer via The Glove)

(Flyer via The Glove)

Frank Hurricane, Machine Listener, Matthew Ryals, Xuan Rong, Skeleton Zoo
Monday July 25, 8 pm at The Glove: $7.
If you’re the proud owner of even half a heart, chances are that you’ve been feeling pretty sympathetic for those back-broken rust belters living in Cleveland, a population that’s shown more than a bit of plucky resilience in the face of economic desertification and industrial decline and governor who briefly campaigned for Pres on a platform that can only be characterized as LOL WTF. But the arrival of the Republican National Convention today just piles on the suffering– thanks to the blonde ambition of everyone’s favorite giant-human-mouth with its own reality TV show.

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These Weekend Music And Art Fests Will Melt Your Face (If The Heat Doesn’t Do It First)

(photo via Out in the Streets)

(photo via Out in the Streets)

Brace yourself, it’s gonna be a hot one. With temperatures wavering in the ’90s this weekend, some people might not want to leave the sacred space of their air conditioning, despite how many of these very same people’s fashion choices reflect that they actually love the ’90s. But for those who want to be so occupied you forget about your melting and/or boiling flesh, here are four music and art festivals this weekend to spend your day and/or night at.

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Four Shows: Try ‘The Glove’ on For Size + Live Music Returns to the City’s Only Bath-Tub Venue

(Photo via Surfbort/ Elvis Guest House)

(Photo via Surfbort/ Elvis Guest House)

Surfbort, Promise Land, Casey Hopkins, Flasher
Tuesday July 11, 8 pm at Elvis Guesthouse: FREE
It appears that live rock/other non-laptop-fronted music bands have returned to Elvis Guesthouse, which is definitely something we can get behind. Coz let’s be real, as far as cool, newer venus go, it’s slim pickins’ in the East Village. Plus, other than being the hipper more underground bar to the owners’ other venture, Baby’s All Right, (literally– at the end of an unsuspecting staircase to conceivably nowhere, Elvis is subterranean), the place was designed by that dude who does the Boob Pots. Which, if they don’t ring familiar, a liable to sound like a holdout from the days when being “King of the Road” actually meant an embroidered jacket and livin’ coast-to-coast on PBs-and-just-sometime-Js. But throw some fried bananas and bacon on that bish and you’re actually not too far from what the designer guy was going for.

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