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Week in Shows: Get Runny, Feel Good + Take a Trip to Synthicide’s Triple Threat

(Flyer via Bossa Nova Civic Club)

(Flyer via Bossa Nova Civic Club)

Synthicide: Three-Year Anniversary 
Thursday January 4, 10 pm to 4 am at Bossa Nova Civic Club: FREE

Even if right now the weather’s making you feel like your bones will never dry, your shoes will always be soggy, and that possibly your muscles will continue spazzing forever and ever, hold on for two more days. And in the mean time, repeat over and over “Free, free at last!” Slowly, your hands will start to defrost, color will return to your face, and a your eyes will even start to twinkle. By the time Thursday rolls around you can let it all out, by placing your booty on the Bossa Nova dance floor as soon as you’re able for the venue’s third annual Synthicide party.

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Yer Week in Gigs: The Teaches of Peaches and the Lure of Boone’s Farm

Peaches (Image via Rough Trade)

Peaches (Image via Rough Trade)

Peaches
Monday September 12, 8 pm at Rough Trade ($30) and Tuesday September 13, 7 pm at Webster Hall ($25)

About a year ago, Peaches– aka Jessica Hopper, the Canadian electroclash artist best known for her transgressive, hyper-sexual, feminist dance music– broke her six-year silence with a new album, Rub, which Pitchfork declared had “arrived at a moment when the world needs Peaches most.” 

That might be an even more appropriate thing to say now, as feminism, women’s rights, and the possibility of Hillary Clinton becoming the first woman President of the United States have taken on a whole new feeling of urgency. Though we’ve come so far in the fight for women’s equality, we’re still knee-deep in a cesspool teeming with indignity, unequal pay, unpaid labor, obstacles to reproductive health, and widespread abuse– sexual, physical, and psychological. And we’re just talking the privileged Western world, baby.

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Week in Music: Jammin’ Out With Her Clams Out, No-Fi Fitting of The Glove

(Flyer via Saint Vitus)

(Flyer via Saint Vitus)

Chain of Flowers, Bootblacks, Ritual Humor
Wednesday August 31, 8 pm at Saint Vitus: $10

With a band name like Chain of Flowers, you might be thinking, “What have you signed me up for? Some hippie girl shit?” Well, not to ruffle any feathers but this band ain’t nearly as tough as all that. Rather, imagine a pale, gothy frontdude with perfectly applied pallor and lavender lipstick about to embark on the craziest acid trip of his short little life, and you’d be somewhere close to what screams out from this Welsh post-punk outfit’s cotton-candy-pink cassette tape.

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Coming Up: Nacho Cheese in a Chocolate Fountain and 3 Other Things in Unexpected Places

Sometimes it can get a little old going to the same bars, galleries, shows, knowing the kind of stuff you’ll see there. So, shake it up with…

A live band at karaoke:

(image via Be Yourself / Facebook)

(image via Be Yourself / Facebook)

Be Yourself Karaoke!
Saturday, July 30 at Cake Shop, 152 Ludlow Street, Lower East Side. Doors at 8pm, music at 9pm. $10. More info here.
Karaoke is always a fun choice (I’m aware many would disagree) but karaoke backing tracks can often be in weird keys and sound like an early 2000s MIDI version of the song you actually wanted to sing. That’s all about to change with Be Yourself Karaoke, a live band that specifically plays ’90s/early 2000s emo and pop-punk songs with audience members as the lead singer. The setlist of songs to choose from is much less overwhelming than those huge karaoke binders and includes hits from Yellowcard, Fall Out Boy, Say Anything, Good Charlotte, and more. Yes, that means you too can relive that dream of bopping around your bedroom yelling to MCR while wearing too much eyeliner, only this time you’ll have a microphone and a stage.

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This Here Sonic Crystal Ball Reveals Five Killer Shows in Your Future

(Image via Webster Hall/ Facebook)

(Image via Webster Hall/ Facebook)

SUUNS, Eaters, John Congolton and the Nighty Nite
Thursday April 28, 7 pm at the Marlin Room at Webster Hall: $15
The Marlin Room inspires a sense of foreboding in me: visions of an antechamber filled with clamoring sea beasts who’d like nothing more than to pierce my and your flesh with their Samurai snouts, then placidly inspect our writhing, tortured remains with their lifeless, black membranes-for-eyes. But I’m sure that people have made it in and out of shows at this Marlin Room before. Right? Could be a trap, or it could be worth it. If you can get past all this, then by all means go see Suuns and friends.

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Get Ready for These Four Sick Shows Appearing in Your Nearest of Futures

(Image via AdHoc)

(Image via AdHoc)

James Chance and the Contortions, Gary Wilson with Tredici Bacci, Horse Lords, Eartheater
Friday, April 29, 8 pm at Market Hotel: $13
Excuse me while I have a fangirl moment here, but when I found out that James Chance and the Contortions were playing Market Hotel I just about had an aneurysm. One of the weirder musicians out of the New York City no wave scene, James Chance, of course, fronted the outfit with his freakaleak saxophone skills, super-hyper screetching, and bleeding-throat acrobatics– a spirit reminiscent of James Brown. Chance’s devotion to jazz seeps through his music, and for that reason his live tracks, as documents of funky improvisational exercises, noisy meltdowns, and legitimate, Dr. Jekyll-worthy freakouts, are a new listener’s best bet.

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An Iron Maiden Among Cowboys From Hell: I Survived Speed Metal Dating

(Photo: Nicole Disser)

(Photo: Nicole Disser)

Now I have you with me, under my power. Our love grows stronger now with every hour. Look into my eyes, you’ll see who I am. My name is Lucifer, please take my hand. – Black Sabbath

Yesterday eve, a hoard of leather-jacket-clad girls with flowing manes and practiced scowl-pouts made their way to their assigned seats at Saint Vitus. The mood was heavy, everyone seemed to know that they faced the potential for both complete humiliation and romantic glory at the very first Speed Metal Dating. I was among the 74 people who showed up, a sacrificial lamb for stunt journalism.

What happened? Lemmy tell you…

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Get Slayed at Speed Metal Dating, This Weekend at Saint Vitus

(Flyer via Dave Hill and Trish Nelson)

(Flyer via Dave Hill and Trish Nelson)

“It might just be crazy enough to work,” mused Dave Hill, the comedian and author who’s now embarking on his second venture in “alt” romantic encounters. It’s Speed Metal Dating, happening this weekend at Saint Vitus!

It’s likely that you know Hill from his Monday night WFMU show The Goddamn Dave Hill Show, or perhaps you recognize him from his Comedy Central appearances and brief bits on Inside Amy Schumer (Hill also has a new book coming out May 10, Dave Hill Doesn’t Live Here Anymore). But it’s also A-OK to admit that you recognize Dave Hill from Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now, the comedian’s original North Brooklyn dating event at the Black Rabbit aimed at rabid fans of the Smiths and Morrissey.

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Week in Shows: Classic Rock Gets a Time Machine and the Party Boys Come to Town

(Flyer via Union Pool)

(Flyer via Union Pool)

The Men, Fur Helmet, Wrung, Barbed Wire
Wednesday April 6, 8 pm at Union Pool: $8
If you were always hanging out in the garage as a kid, wearing your favorite motor-grease-stained “Daddy’s Little Girl” sweatshirt, munchin’ on Cheetos (only when your mom was out back in the hot tub sippin’ wine coolers with her gals, though), and sneaking sips of your pops’s Bud, then the soundtrack to your childhood was no doubt the same ’70s and ’80s proto-metal, classic-rawk sounds that have inspired NYC rock-n’-roll revival band Barbed Wire. As the evening’s openers, they’ll set the tone with their familiar brand of brawny, Lizard-King-not-dead rock rippers. Is this nostalgia tripping or high-concept performance? You be the judge.

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Four Killer Shows Happening This Week

Hiroshi Hasegawa (Photo via End Tymes Fesitval/ halfnormal)

Hiroshi Hasegawa (Photo via End Tymes Fesitval/ halfnormal)

Hiroshi Hasegawa, Dromez, Dessicant, Dead Wolf
Friday, Feb. 12, 8 pm at The Silent Barn: $8
When it comes to power electronics, Japanese musician Hiroshi Hasegawa has been around the block a few thousand times– busting ears and forgetting names. Way back in 1990, he started the prolific group C.C.C.C. (Cosmic Coincidence Control Center), whose members counted a porn star and weirdos like Hasegawa amongst their ranks. Besides improvising and recording all kinds of brain-shattering noise music, the group was known for throttling their audience with aggressive stunts like throwing plastic bags full of pee out into the crowd. The guy may be pushing 60, but he’s still down as hell to make incredibly belligerent music. And hey, maybe you’ll be graced with the honor of a urine splash for old times’ sake.

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Shows: BB Swan Ventures from the Flock, Commando Punk Delves into Noise

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(Flyer via Aviv)

You know how leftovers are sometimes better than the meal was in its original form? That’s also true for CMJ apparently. It seems like some seriously great bands and musicians are lingering around town, taking breaks from their major projects and toying with new ones, old friends, and completely different sounds altogether. You too can dabble in all three this week (and beyond). See what we’ve got for you below.

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Music: Shifted, Scarn, 400PPM

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The ever popular Tinnitus music series returns this week, and we think it’s perfect timing for another one of their boundary pushing, pop-be-damned affairs. Because face it– industrial blips and dark techno are exactly what you need to keep you going hump day. This time around, Tinnitus is focusing on artists who are the international who’s-who in dark techno. Bring your friends who like to dance, just don’t let them call it EDM.