Is that a baby carrot in your pocket or are you just happy to see the return of The Smallest Penis in Brooklyn?
The pageant started small, but it’s growing (not showing) from a local barroom fiasco to a full-on, raging nationwide debacle. This year, as indicated by the, er, slick promo video above, out-of-towners can achieve innie infamy by mailing in video submissions. That means folks in gun-happy states like Texas can finally show New Yorkers their tiny dicks.
Friday the 13th flash from Gnostic Tattoo in Bushwick
Consider this your last chance to get creepy for a good long while because Friday the 13th ain’t happening again until November kids, which means (depending on your persuasion) we’ll be facing eight straight months of horrible luck. If you’re more inclined to associate Friday the 13th with Jason or unfortunate circumstances then, by all means, stay inside your depressing apartment and order delivery tacos. We’re guessing you’re also the type of person who would blame the forces of evil for finding you’ve received soggy tacos— the horror! Like, how else could that happen? Mayonnaise just doesn’t move itself. But hey, if you’re not a turd, check out our list of fun ways to celebrate this lucky day.
Kings County Saloon is the Bushwick bar responsible for the smallest penis contest, but somehow the photo above is grosser than anything they’ve previously sent over. And yet we can’t look away. Keep Reading »