Dawn of Humans

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Shows: Trip Metal Metastasizing and Sweaty Dance Party in a Bathtub

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Here’s to hoping you took this past weekend to cram your butt, beach umbrellas, and coolers full of malt liquor onto the A train, also known as the Express Train to Beach Salvation. Lord knows nearly all of Brooklyn decided this was the way to go. I’ve got the bite marks to prove it. If you didn’t get your Rockaway kicks in along with the rest of us, chances are you’re gonna miss out big time on a weekend of epic gigs on the horizon. Trust us, this is the time to play hooky, because how else are you possibly going to realize your Best Summer Ever without skipping out on your earthly responsibilities? You’ve really dug yourself a hole, haven’t you? Here are the shows happening this week that’ll get you out of it.

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Your Comprehensive Guide to a Nasty Week of Punk Festivities

(poster by Alexander Heir)

(poster by Alexander Heir)

It’s finally almost here, New York’s Alright 2015! Get excited for this year’s all things punk fest where tons of related official and unofficial happenings are being held in and around Bushwick, Greenpoint, East Williamsburg, and the Lower East Side. And you can stop screaming now, this isn’t a festival in any traditional / horrendous sense of the word, meaning you can put all your eggs in a basket marked “no” as in no you aren’t going to find anyone looking “Coachella as fuck” at this event. Or maybe you will. I haven’t turned on any TVs in a while so there’s a distinct possibility I’ve just been asleep at the wheel and Coachella hats are the new normcore. Well, normcore be damned — it’s time to break out your spikes, boys and girls (but only if you like saxophones).

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