Even though the year is ending, most things will continue after the clock strikes 2017. But not all of them. The queer nightlife collective known as The Culture Whore is saying goodbye not only to 2016 with their New Year’s Eve space-rodeo rave, “Night Riders.” The blowout will be the group’s final party, as they are disbanding.
As long as we can keep breathing for the next 40 hours or so– oh, and dodge any breakaway scaffolding flying overhead, and reject your roommate’s baked goods that are really just botulism bombs anyway– we’re gonna make it outta 2016, otherwise known as the stinkiest steaming cesspool of a year on record.
Everything is horrible, yes, it’s true– but some rather uplifting news has emerged from the unlikeliest of places, crime stats!
Whenever someone compares Brooklyn to Oakland, an angel loses its wings, and is sent plunging straight down to hell where the sexless being is reborn as an enormous phallus– imagine, like, a hedge fund manager or, in some cases, a real-estate developer.
That’s because the observation usually has to do with the proximity of a relatively much more prosperous place like Manhattan or San Fransisco (actually those are mostly just super fancy places no matter how you slice it) and based on dumb facts like that you can take a train between the two (the BART, the MTA respectively). Oh, and there’s also that whole gentrification thing– like parts of Brooklyn, Oakland has been declared fabulously “up-and-coming” (barf).
The truth is that, aside from stupid comparisons like these–usually found in real-estate ads, or grunted between high-five’ing bros–Oakland and our beloved borough actually do have some real stuff in common.
How many times have you passed a city trash can overflowing with coffee cups and thought to yourself, “Damn, do the Olsen twins live around here?” Even in Greenpoint, where trash bins have been replaced by Big Belly solar compactors, you’ll often see the green beasts serving as unwitting Starbucks counters. What’s it going to take to end the scourge of empty cups? Does Camelbak need to come up with a coffee version, so baristas can pipe the brown stuff straight into our backpacks? Should we all start snorting caffeine in powder form?
A priest and a hipster walk into a bar… and go to confession?
It’s no joke (okay, maybe a little bit of a joke?): Greenpoint bar The Diamond is turning the decommissioned ski gondola that’s in its back patio into a confessional, complete with legit pastor. “Is the weight of your own foolishness heavy upon your spirit?” the bar asks in an announcement. “Did you vote for the wrong candidate, and now regret it?”
Sadly, the Morbid Anatomy Museum has shuffled off this mortal coil. The Gowanus museum dedicated to exploring “death, beauty and that which falls between the cracks” announced in an email that it has ceased operations after two and a half years. At least it left a beautiful corpse.
Used to be, when a new Star Wars movie came out, the only decision you had to make was, well, whether to let George Lucas exploit your childhood nostalgia yet again– but also, whether to watch it in 2D or 3D. These days, however, you can dine, recline– everything short of watching the flick in hologram form. Here are the various ways you can see Rogue One around town, and how much it’ll cost ya.
Just a few months after the closure of Black Bear Bar, its neighbor on North 6th Street, Cubana Social, is leaving Williamsburg after six years. No, it’s not the changes in Cuba that are to blame. According to the closing announcement by owner Christina Bouza, it’s changes in the neighborhood.
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No offense, It’s a Wonderful Life, but Gremlins has to be the best holiday film of all-time. This guy knows it, and so does Alamo Drafthouse. When we heard Brooklyn’s new dine-in theater was screening the film and handing out limited-edition Gremlins tiki mugs, we just about gave ourselves a mohawk. Sadly, the tiki mugs weren’t ready to distribute last week, but we’re told they should be in by Friday. If you missed Tuesday’s screening, there’s another one tonight–but you’ll have to act fast, because just a couple of seats remained at the time of this posting.
If you miss out, don’t worry: Williamsburg bowling bar The Gutter is also screening Joe Dante’s 1984 classic tonight at 9pm, and it’s free. Granted, you won’t get a tiki mug, but you will get free homemade cookies and countless adorable shots of Gizmo ululating– which, by the way, one superfan was able to do at Alamo last week in order to win a Gremlins Christmas sweater. Impressive.
A while ago, while strolling around Bogota, I stumbled on a double decker bus that doubled as a café, and I thought to myself, “They don’t have anything like this in New York.” Happily, I now stand corrected: The Lot Radio has parked a vintage bus inside of its tiny triangular lot near the Williamsburg-Greenpoint border, and soon you’ll be able to sip a beer inside of it while listening to one of the city’s best internet radio stations.
Gender-fluid electropop artist Addison XIV is all about “obsessive love” in their bouncy, sugary new EP S.H.O.U.J.O., which premieres today. The four-track EP includes tracks appropriate both for the club and for crying in your room, and touches on being in love, being in love with love, being “treated like a girl,” and even a disdain for canines.
S.H.O.U.J.O. includes “WHeN i SeE yR FaCE,” a high-energy but sad track with a groovy bassline that appeared on The Culture Whore’s annual mixtape earlier this year. It’s not the only catchy song on the EP by any means; they all have their earworm qualities, from the repeated spelling in the title track to the memorable lyrics of opener “I Don’t Like Dogs.” The EP’s production recalls a variety of flavors, from ’80s R&B and ’90s pop to “happy hardcore” electronic music, video game theme songs, and J-pop.