Crimes + Misdemeanors

Beware the Bald, Mustachioed Man Who Offers You His Wedding Ring

The perp as rendered by his victim.

The perp as rendered by his victim.

As you can probably tell from the fact that you’re reading words I’ve put on a page, I’m a writer. And if you know something about the state of writers in general, and in New York in particular, then you know I’m poor. Luckily for me and the city’s taxpayers, I’m not yet food-stamp poor (I checked, I don’t qualify), but I’m cash strapped enough that if I’m out to dinner with a friend, I’ll make sure she pays the extra dollar she owes instead of splitting the check down the middle — because, after all, that’s why I got the PBR and not the glass of house wine.

All of this is to say that I can’t afford to just hand out money to strangers on the street, especially when it comes in the form of paper and not coins. Yet, despite the fact that I’ve lived in New York off-and-on for more than 12 years, that is exactly what I did a couple of weeks ago. I handed $30 to a scam artist.
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A Teenager Was Attacked By a Mob and Stabbed On the Lower East Side

(Photo: Ron Castellano)

The aftermath of the stabbing. (Photo: Ron Castellano)

A teenager was stabbed last night after a mob ganged up on him on the Lower East Side.

Ron Castellano, a resident, said that around 11:10 p.m. he heard yelling outside of his workplace, coming from the intersection of East Broadway and Essex. “I opened up the door and looked out and it was like 30 to 50 people in a swarm – like a tornado going through the street.”
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A Rider Got Mugged But Other Than That, Citi Bike Hasn’t Been Hell On Wheels

Two NYPD officers, lights flashing, siren whooping, pull over Citi Biker for salmoning on Second Avenue

NYPD officers pulled over a Citi Biker for salmoning on Second Avenue. (Photo: Scott Lynch)

Thought Citi Bike would result in “total carnage”? WRONG. Unless you count some punny vandalism, the apocalypse on two wheels has yet to materialize. In the East Village, at least.

“Everyone thought Citi Bike was going to be way worse, with accidents all over the place, things getting stolen left and right,” a police source told Bedford + Bowery. Not quite: Citi Bike-related crime has been surprisingly low.
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Drunk Folks, Don’t Get Into This Car Unless You Want Be Robbed at Gunpoint

61 East Third Street (Photo: Erica Martin)

61 East Third Street (Photo: Erica Martin)

Pro tip: if you’re walking home from the bar and a white, four-door sedan offers you a ride, do not get in. The driver may be brandishing a gun.

A group of three young women and one man may be targeting young women walking alone late at night, a police spokesperson source said.

On June 30, around 4am near 61 East Third Street, an approximately 20-year-old woman tapped a 26-year-old woman on the shoulder and demanded her wallet, according to a police report. The alleged robber, who wore a green baseball cap and tank top, told the victim there was a man with a gun in a car across the street and the victim promptly handed over her credit cards and cell phone (the robber was nice enough to let her keep her ID)
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