120 North 6th Street

120 North 6th Street

Whenever we ogle the renderings of future buildings slated for construction, our eye is drawn to the aspirational humans within. They’re always pretty good for a laugh, and an idea of what the developers are after, despite their lip service to affordable housing and community spaces.

Where are the teens of color hanging out, street vendors selling fruit or tamales, Chinese seniors doing tai chi? Maybe architecture firms should take a cue from Barbie and diversify their paper dolls? Here’s a roundup of some of the “types” we’ve glimpsed traipsing through the future versions of North Brooklyn and the Lower East Side. Welcome your new neighbors!

1. The Dogwalkers

When you start seeing people in heels walking their dogs, your neighborhood is one step away from becoming the West Village. Don’t believe me? Just ask twitter.


2.The Shopaholics

Extell

250 South Street

“Let me just slowly kick off my three-inch heels while basking in this amazing view, surrounded by my latest Gucci haul. Don’t you judge me, Fluffer! This is a building with 30 percent affordable housing!”

3. The Long-Suffering Doorman

204 forsyth

He’s always there, smile plastered on his face, waiting for your on-demand HelloFresh packages (and maybe more Gucci). Did he get lost and confuse the Lower East Side with Upper?

4. The Bikers

626 Driggs

626 Driggs

“Let’s see about these fixies all the kids are talking about.”

79 Clay Street

5. The Loving Loungers

Extell Fire Pit

“You know honey, our therapist was right. Moving into a building with a fire pit and pagoda was just the trick!”

Extell Pagoda

6. The Urban Farmers

rheingold-brewery-brooklyn-development-raad-rabsky-rooftop-farm-6

Nothing like a stroll through the rooftop corn stalks to kick off your morning. What’s our modern-day farmer carrying– a milk pail?

7. The Hipster Buskers

Market Line Essex Crossing

“When I was a kid, I always dreamed of playing CBGBs, but this mall is way cooler, right?”

8. The Rooftop Royals

219 South 3rd street

Rooftop savants, swirling wine while they survey their kingdom. “What are the peons yelling down there? They want more cake?”

200 South 3rd Street

9. Daydreamers in the Park

325 Kent Avenue

The crush of new neighbors doesn’t bother this dude. He’s just laying on this backpack, watching the world go by in the shade of a tree. That, or he collapsed from the stress of having to commute without the L train. At least one guy (let me guest, a local?) has stopped to smh.

10. The iPhone Addicts

661 Driggs

“Just heading into traffic while texting, no big deal.” This is the guy you always bump into when you’re trying to get off the subway.

11. And the pièce de résistance…

This video rendering, of sorts, has it all: tats, skateboards, beards, beanies, coffee, horn rims, vintage bikes, and creative types passing by street art, all reveling in the Bushwickiness of their existence.