(Photo via Revjen Miller / Facebook)

(Photo via Revjen Miller / Facebook)

If you’ve decided that Stairwell Theater’s scatological Ubu Rex seems a little too extreme for you, there’s no shortage of oddball performance events around every corner this week. But sorry to all you straight-laced folk out there, none of them are particularly traditional.

It’s A Wonderful Life: A Benefit For Reverend Jen Junior

Wednesday Dec. 16, 9 pm at Cake Shop: $10

Reverend Jen Miller is an Art Star, organizer of the Mr. Lower East Side Pageant, and curator of the Troll Museum, has brought weirdness and joy to the LES and beyond for years. Now, she’s asking for our help by holding a benefit show for her elderly dog, the Rev. Jen Junior, who’s in need of surgery and medical care.

A star in her own right, JJ (as she’s fondly nicknamed), has appeared in countless movies, shows, and even a Moby music video. The show will feature performances by Master Lee, Janeane Garofalo, John S. Hall, and Todd Montesi as well as “creepy Santas,” a christmas pageant written by Rev. Jen herself, and of course, an “America’s Next Top Elf” competition. “She’s a national treasure,” Rev. Jen tells us. “I would rather live in a fucking box with my dog than live with a roof over my head without her.”

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(Photo via Panoply Performance Lab / Facebook)

What It Is Or What It Aint

Thursday Dec. 17, 6 pm at Panoply Performance Laboratory:  $5- $20 suggested donation. 

Stroll over to Panoply Lab, one of the remaining weirdo DIY art spaces left in good ole Williamsburg, to catch this one-night-only performance art exhibition featuring four American performance artists discussing and performing (duh) their experiences in love and relationships and recollecting the ups and downs of working with an agency in a world of art institutions.

Prefaced by a roundtable discussion, the evening will focus on “performance practices that deal with beliefs in the strength in the collective voice of black people/women (even if those voices disagree or contradict) as well as resistances to processes commodifying and objectifying identities and artists.”

(photo: David Kimelman)

(photo: David Kimelman)

Justin Vivian Bond: Angels We Have Heard When High

Friday Dec. 18 though Wednesday December 23 at Joe’s Pub:$35 

Mx Justin Vivian Bond, queer performance artist and fixture of the NYC cabaret scene who recently showed visual artwork at Cooper Union’s Bring Your Own Body exhibit, has prepared a holiday extravaganza that will truly be one for the books.

Join Mx Bond and several musical misfits in an evening of tipsy cheer and song, where one can simultaneously light up with holiday cheer and get lit.

(poster: Jonathan Miranda)

(poster: Jonathan Miranda)

The Smutcracker

Saturday Dec. 19 (10 pm) and Sunday Dec. 20 (1 pm) at Bizarre: $5 in advance, $7 at the door.

Bordello, Madame Vivien V’s recurring evening of debauched performance, is bigger and better than ever this holiday season with their twisted and more scantily-clad version of The Nutcracker, set in a vaudevillian absinthe club.

Feast thine eyes upon Bordello’s regular cast of performers plus some special guests, including fire dancers, drag queens, and aerial performers. You best believe it’s going to get steamy. And it’s not only a show: attendees with higher stamina are welcome to party with the cast afterwards until 4am.

(Photo via Jo Firestone / Facebook)

(Photo via Jo Firestone / Facebook)

The Great Christmas Mindfuck

Sunday Dec. 20, 2 pm – 8 pm at Union Hall: $15

A bevy of Brooklyn’s wildest comedians and wackiest performers come together for this six hour long (yes, you read that right) marathon of holiday madness. One of the brains behind this ambitious endeavor is, unsurprisingly, Jo Firestone, creator of Punderdome 3000, director of B+B favorite Body, and too many other creative and just plain bizarre shows to mention here. The lineup is rightfully jam-packed, and we trust that it will be full to the brim with surprises, shocks, and sillies.