We’re still holding. Cat Hair Pills, that is. After answering a mysterious flyer posted in Bed-Stuy last week and being directed to One Last Shag, where we acquired pills stuffed with cat hair, we couldn’t decide what to do with them. Throw them in the garbage? Toss them in the East River? Feed them to ourselves or our roommate or some cat lady we know? We had more questions for the Cat Hair Pill sorcerer. Admittedly, our journalism only “scratches the surface” and we’re no closer to discovering the Cat Hair Pillducer(s)’s identity, but we at least have a slightly better understanding of their designs on this world as well as some up-close-and-personal photos of the contributing cats.
We prefer not to disclose any exact numbers, but in the past month, Cat Hair Pills have been delivered all over the US of A and to every continent except Africa and Antarctica (although we are very hopeful that we will have African and Antarctican orders soon).
Our cat hair is harvested in a 100% humane and sustainable method. Cat A and Cat B are extremely fond of harvesting and are treated exceptionally well. They have a cat fountain and have been on an airplane. They had a layover in Dallas.
So we’ve read some theories about the Cat Hair Pills, but what are they supposed to do? And c’mon, what are they?
Somehow we got the feeling Cat Hair Pills might go well with a phrostie— wait are Cat Hair Pills this summer’s phrostie? Would you recommend washing a Cat Hair Pill down with this “psychojuice?”