After three years of hosting the Webbys, Patton Oswalt ceded the honors to Williamsburg comic Hannibal Buress last night. “I guess the Webbys wanted a new host that would acknowledge WorldStarHipHop,” Buress told the crowd of diners at Cipriani Wall Street. His monologue, which you can watch below, referenced everything from farty Uber rides to Kim Kardashian’s shiny posterior (“it was so shiny that when you looked at it you would just see a reflection of who you really are as a person”). At one point he brought up the Mad Men finale: “I’m still a little bitter that Jon Hamm beat me out for that role years ago. You don’t know the story? It was down to me, Jon Hamm, and Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers.”
The evening was a treat for fans of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Zach Woods, the doll-faced actor who plays Jared on Silicon Valley presented an award to his Office colleague, Ellie Kemper (Kimmy Schmidt herself) by reading a very un-Kimmy text message she had sent to him earlier in the day: “I’m going to choke you out with your own butthole, you big tall bitch.”
And Tituss Burgess used his acceptance speech — required to be five words or less — to thank one of the show’s creators:
“Tituss’s last name is Burgess and my name is Buress,” Hannibal said as Tituss left the stage. “When Kimmy Schmidt came out some people were like ‘Oh, I saw Burgess and I thought that was you’ … Yeah, because you’re an idiot.”
Jon Hamm came up again when Beau Willimon, show runner for House of Cards, gave the award for Best Mobile Game to “Monument Valley.” Before doing that, he re-congratulated Ellie Kemper. “Ellie and I actually went to high school together and interestingly enough we both went to high school with Jon Hamm. Now, Ellie was a few years below me and Jon was a few years above me so in a way I was the pastrami in an Ellie Kemper/Jon Hamm sandwich. So with that fantasy banging around in my head, now you know where the threesome scene in season two came about. Which in the writers room we lovingly referred to as the ‘threechum’… I can tell from how many people didn’t laugh how many actually watch [House of Cards], because Netflix doesn’t give me the fucking data.”
Shane Smith, CEO of Vice, presented an award to HBO (“not that there’s any conflict of interest there”) in typical fashion: “We’re going to see who wins tonight, the booze or the teleprompter,” he said upon taking the stage. “I’d just like to ask, a show of hands — who ordered the fish tonight? Fuck you.” This clip takes it from there:
And there was more cussin’ as Dave Grohl presented a Special Achievement Award to Pat Quinn, co-founder of the Ice Bucket Challenge.
“The Webby Awards are a special place,” Burgess noted as he closed the show, sending everyone to an after-party that included a DJ set from Grandmaster Flash and a short performance by A$ap Ferg. “It’s the only place where a guy from NASA gets a bigger crowd reaction than an actual rock star.”