If aphrodisiac menus and vanilla-scented candles make you cringe, there’s no need to lock yourself in your apartment on Valentine’s Day. Explore the darker side of love and eros at one of these alt affairs (all on Saturday, Feb. 14 unless otherwise noted).
Morgan Avenue Underground, 55 Morgan Ave., Bushwick; doors at 8pm, performances at 10pm; donations encouraged.
A group exhibition reminding you that death is inevitable (or to put it in High Valyrian, “valar morghulis”). Afterparty tunes will be provided by Accident Report, a band that prides itself on sounding like “Britney Spears vomiting blood.”
My Bloody Valentine’s Party
Passenger Bar, 229 Roebling St., Williamsburg, 9pm; free
A dark Valentine’s party with a DJ set from Andy Rourke of The Smiths, tarot readings and a photo booth equipped with a two-way mirror. Themed cocktails, gothic decorations and silent black-and-white horror films will be part of the experience, as well. Wear your best funeral attire.
The Red Party: The Love Will Tear Us Apart Valentine’s Ball
The Gallery at LPR, 158 Bleecker St., Greenwich Village, doors at 10pm; free before midnight, $10 after
A Goth ball promising “a night of tragic lovesongs” where DJs Sean Templar, Cyn and Zarek Zelazny will spin goth, postpunk, death rock, and cold wave (think Joy Division, The Cure, Siouxsie & The Banshees and Sisters of Mercy). Suggested dress code: “your dark and best attire.”
The Third Annual Broken Hearted Ball
Cameo Gallery, 93 N 6th St., Williamsburg, 11:59pm; $5
This one’s based on the premise that the best songs are about heartbreak (“all by myself..don’t wanna be all by myself”) and the second-best songs are about new love. Whether you’re there for the break-up set or the hook-up set that’ll follow, feel free to come as you are: promoter Russ Marshalek says he’ll be wearing “sweatpants with a lot of zippers for easy access.”
Hoodoo Your Love + Sacred Sex Workshop
Catland, 987 Flushing Ave., Bushwick, Feb. 13 and 14
Tired of contemporary seduction techniques? On Feb. 13, from 7pm to 9:30pm, shaman Khi Armand will offer a workshop about the “symbolism, techniques and entities called upon in love and sex magick around the world.” Forego your Tinder pickup lines and give Crossroads conjuring, Macumba, and Santeria a try. Sliding-scale admission is $10 to $20. On Feb. 14, from 4 to 6pm, Aura Elizabeth and Sunny Scorpio will explore the realm of sacred sexuality through tantra, taoism, herbalism, chakra meditation, and sensorial exploration Entry is $20 for singles and $30 for couples and friends.
7th Annual “Valentine’s Day Blood Massacre”
Drom, 85 Avenue A, East Village, 11pm; $15
An industrial/fetish party where you’re welcome to dress as “bloody cupid, fallen angel steampunk, cyberpunk & cyberslut, industrial-gothic.” Among the visually and orally stimulating performances, dominatrixes will be doing a “feel the whip” act. Live Music by Bella Morte, Voltaire and Noir.
ON THE LIGHTER SIDE….
Fine & Raw Chocolate Factory, 288 Seigel St., Bushwick, 8pm; admission by donation.
Ok, so this party hosted by Fine & Raw, Little Skips and the 108 Lives project (donations benefit children in Nepal) has “love” in the title. But it’s also described as UNICORNY, so we’re hoping some Bronies (it is Ponycon weekend, after all) or Dick from Tinder in Brooklyn shake things up. The dress code is “famous couples” for pairs and “half of a famous couple” for those flying solo. There will be mock weddings.
Rubulad’s Spy in the Warehouse of Love
Secret Location TBA, Bushwick, 9pm $10 before 10pm, $20 otherwise
The folks at Rubulad are always good for a wild time, and this warehouse fete in the future home of the Muse will feature a “homespun merry-go-round” as well as spinning of the DJ variety (courtesy of Shakey and Dirty Finger). Morricone Youth will belt out film soundtracks as Darlinda Just Darlinda, Minnie Tonka and Legs Malone bring the burlesque.